<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>(Strictly) Davekat Oneshots by YourOnlySenpai</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29692521">(Strictly) Davekat Oneshots</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/YourOnlySenpai/pseuds/YourOnlySenpai'>YourOnlySenpai</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Homestuck</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Adult Trolls (Homestuck), Alternia, Alternia is Terrible, Bisexual Dave Strider, Canon Era, Canon Relationships, Dave Strider Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Davekat Week, Dirk Strider and Dave's Bro Aren't the Same Person, Earth C (Homestuck), Gay Panic, Hermaphroditic Trolls (Homestuck), Highblooded Trolls (Homestuck), Humanstuck, Kanaya Maryam/Karkat Vantas Moirallegiance, Lowblooded Trolls (Homestuck), M/M, One Shot, One Shot Collection, POV Dave, POV Dave Strider, POV Karkat Vantas, Panic, Panic Attacks, Purring Trolls (Homestuck), Rose Lalonde and Dave Strider are Siblings, Short, Short &amp; Sweet, Short One Shot, The Homestuck Epilogues, The Homestuck Epilogues: Candy, The Homestuck Epilogues: Meat, Top Dave, Top Karkat Vantas, Trolls, Trolls (Homestuck), Trollstuck</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 02:26:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>37,589</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29692521</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/YourOnlySenpai/pseuds/YourOnlySenpai</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>All of these are posted separately on my page if you ever want to look at a specific one, but I would prefer to have them all in one place and am having trouble adding them to a collection after they've been published. Any necessary warnings will take place in the beginning notes, along with a short summary of the piece. All of these stories are strictly Davekat and other minor ships as background characters, but it will focus on Dave and Karkat no matter what! Hope you enjoy!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dave Strider &amp; Karkat Vantas, Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>64</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Candy Red</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>(Note: Conversations about blood take place. This one is about Karkat finding out about Dave's eyes by accident and then sitting with him to tell him about this blood color. Not understanding the hemospectrum, Dave is just confused.)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The rude awakening of a (typically) pissed off Vantas at eleven in the morning wasn’t something Dave was prepared to deal with, specifically when he barged into his room to get him to come out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave would’ve preferred to be caught in a certain personal and embarrassing act than to be caught with his shades anywhere other than on his face, but that was exactly what happened. Karkat opened the door to tell Strider to hurry his ass up so they could work on cleaning the joint and was greeted with red eyes, wide with shock. Karkat’s followed suit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the fuck are you doing?” Dave immediately covered his secret with one hand, blindly reaching for his glasses with the other. “Is privacy not in your fucking nature or something? The door was closed for a reason, dude. Get out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two had been a classified item for some time now, but many of their secrets were still unrevealed to each other, and this was Dave’s. Vantas felt guilty for a split second, knowing it wasn’t something he was yet prepared to share, but also sensed it was about time anyway. He stepped in, nudged the door shut, and clicked the lock. The young Strider heard the noise and froze, refusing to reveal his eyes again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Karkat, what the hell are you doing? I told you to get the fuck out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You sound like me. Fucking relax, I’m not going to do anything to you.” He took the moment to sit beside his lover on the bed, giving a little space between them. Everything was still fairly new to both of them. “Show me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dave, I already saw them. Show me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave shook his head, being stubborn as ever before, but despite being so obdurate, he didn’t try to stop him from grabbing his wrist gently and pulling his hand away. Strider kept his eyes to his lap, taking in the pattern of his red flannel pajama bottoms to avoid Karkat’s gaze. This wasn’t how he wanted Karkat to find out. He didn’t want him to know at all, frankly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat just stared. Though it made Dave want to run to the bathroom and hide, he didn’t stop. It was the color he was most afraid of, yet he only found himself falling more and more in love with the man before him. His hand moved from his wrist and slowly up to his flushed cheek, turning his head to face him. Dave’s eyes finally met his gaze and Karkat felt his heart race.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dave,” he spoke softly after a moment of silence between them. “Why wouldn’t you-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re demonic.” He was blunt and short, likely from the embarrassment he felt in his chest. “Dirk made it clear they would scare people off or get me into some sort of danger.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This caught him slightly off guard. He didn’t expect Karkat to hate him or be afraid by any stretch, but he didn’t expect something so true and genuine to come out of his mouth, especially about something he hated so much about himself. Dave fell silent again as their eyes remained locked. After a moment, Karkat smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you,” he was nearly whispering now, going off of his previous statement. He finally drew a small smile out of Dave, a shadow of his dimples appearing on his cheeks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you, too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat, with his hand still on his cheek, pulled him in for a kiss. Dave didn’t waste a second in reciprocating.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>When was the last time I kissed him, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Dave wondered. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Yesterday? The day before? There’s not enough privacy for a couple of gay dudes on this goddamn ship. How much dick do I need to suck around here in order to get some privacy? None. BECAUSE THERE ISN’T ANY PRIVACY TO DO IT.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He was getting distracted. When they broke apart, Karkat could tell he had gone off on some weird train of thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you taken your medication for your stupid think pan yet?” He reached up and poked his head. Dave swiped at his hand but smiled again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. You barged in before I could.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dumbass. Why are you so broken in the head?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave stood with a little laugh, for once leaving his shades behind on his nightstand with Karkat, who looked over at them and felt strange happiness seeing them not being used.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not broken. I have ADHD.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. Sounds pretty broken to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave flipped him off from the doorway of the bathroom and Karkat rolled his eyes. Just another day of blissful teasing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For the first time, they slept in the same bed. Karkat needed to be near him that night, and Dave didn’t mind one bit. He had earlier learned that privacy wasn’t an option on this ship, even with the door locked, but he didn’t let it stop them from snuggling close and creating a new moment together. Despite the romantic and sweet setting, something wasn’t right. Karkat was off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you thinking about?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s clear that something’s on your mind,” Dave said softly, near a whisper. His fingers played with his hair, avoiding the little nubs on his head that he so desperately wanted to touch. But Karkat had made it clear he didn’t want that, so Dave respected it, having a faint clue about what actually happened when they were stimulated. “So what’s wrong?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not thinking about anything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Karkat.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Strider.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know you, and I know you well. What are you thinking about?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat paused for a moment before sighing softly and looking down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look, Dave, I… have my own secret.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go on.” Dave was prepared to listen, and really listen, as his medication hadn’t yet worn off for the day. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But you can’t let it affect how you think about me. Please. Or how you think of my role in groups and such.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve watched you kill people. I don’t think it gets much worse than that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It does.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave’s eyebrow raised in suspicion, but he shrugged it off in preparation to listen to what Karkat had to say.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just… don’t want you to be surprised or disgusted when you find out. Especially if we ever decide to, uh… have…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh God, Kitkat, is this an anatomy thing?” Dave rolled his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No! Well, kind of.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d rather get to that issue when we get there. I’m more of a hands-on learner.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my God, I am not going to teach you about my genitalia, you fucking dimwit sack of shit!” Karkat’s cheeks were bright red and his face was buried in his hands. “I only mention it because everything is, like, color-coded essentially and I don’t want you finding out about me during something like that!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, okay, whatever, just keep your voice down, dumbass.” Dave rolled his eyes. “Everyone’s going to know that you wanted to sleep with me, and I don’t think you’re ready to explain to them why.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up. Anyways,” Karkat uncovered his face, but wouldn’t meet his eyes. “It’s pretty major. Terezi knows, and everyone else might now, too, but either way, it’s… important to me that you know what you’re getting into.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, so just spill it already.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat took a deep breath. His whole life was spent guarding this secret and now, telling someone he loved dearly, knowing that he might lose him to it, was an absolutely terrifying concept to him. To anybody, really. Even Dave’s heart was racing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve… got mutant blood. Bright red. Terezi says candy red.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave waited for something else, which Karkat took as a negative silence until he spoke up again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait, that’s it? You have red blood?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I do. I just-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay. Join the club. What’s the big deal?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not surprised by this revelation?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dude, every human has red blood. We also don’t give a flying fuck about blood color. I know it’s like a troll social order thing, but that doesn’t really apply when you’re saving the entire universe from an all-powerful demon. Or when you’re dating a human. Pick your battle.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat stared at him in awe for a few moments before suddenly reaching up, holding both cheeks in his hands, and pulling Dave in for a kiss, one that caught him entirely off-guard. He didn’t even get the chance to kiss back before Karkat pulled away to look up at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you. And if you tell anybody, I will kill you. Got it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave then smiled warmly, held his arm firmly around Karkat’s waist, and pulled him in for another kiss he was far more prepared for.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Got it.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Casual ADHD Moments</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Emetophobia warning!<br/>This one is about how Dave's ADHD meds wear off during a movie night with Kanaya, Rose, Karkat, and Terezi. This causes him to go into a panic attack.<br/>I do have panic attacks and the girl I'm currently dating has been pointing out that I have some major signs of ADHD (she has some pretty major ADHD herself so I trust her), so I'm hoping this is all accurate!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Yet another fairly decent night on this shitty meteor, and all was well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat was comfortable under the weight of my arm over his shoulders while some romcom was on our small television. Kanaya was on the second couch with Rose, and while they were more open with their relationship than we were, they were sat with space between them. Maybe they were expecting someone else to join, but with Terezi at our feet and Gamzee making his rounds lurking in the vents, it was clear this was as big as the party was getting. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But somehow, I felt like I was suffocating.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It started off pretty mild. I zoned out occasionally, only to be brought back into reality when Rose or Karkat made some smug comment about the film or its actors and the laughter from the others would make me jump. It slowly worsened. It felt like my chest was getting tight. The television seemed too loud. Karkat seemed too close for comfort, even though we literally slept together every night and I was the one with my arm around him. I eventually took that away, though. He didn’t complain or question me. He simply moved to get comfortable on his own.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>My hands started to grab at my own flannel pajamas, shaking subtly. I didn’t notice that anything was wrong with me, per se, but I felt that something was wrong in general. My breathing was too loud. So was Karkat’s. Everything seemed so bright. And warm. And loud. So, so loud. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat’s surprisingly muted whisper made me jump again. I caught his eyes looking down at my right hand, where he had gently placed his on top of my clenched one. I couldn’t relax it no matter how much effort I put in to do so. My breathing was heavier and my heart was one more beat away from bursting out of my chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dave?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“‘M fine.” It came out low and forced. Breathless, even.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re sweating. And shaking. Are you sick?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you two nerds mumbling about back there?” Terezi’s raspy and, shocking, loud voice chirped up from our feet and I immediately winced. My boyfriend, confused beyond belief at my dramatic responses to such simple things, raised an eyebrow. He still found concern in his heart though and as I finally released the fabric of my pajamas to bring my hands to hold my head by its sides, he brought his hand to my shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Terezi soon realized something wasn’t right and shut her mouth quickly, sitting up on her knees and turning to face us. The room went silent as Kanaya reached for the remote to pause the movie, save for my irregular breathing, which only got heavier as I felt four pairs of eyes on me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dave, are you okay?” Rose had concern in her voice as well. Karkat was on his knees beside me now as well, his hand on my back. I was burning up, but that was to be expected at this point.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The room is fucking spinning,” I managed to spurt out. Terezi left the room briefly and came back with a cold washcloth, which Karkat took and held on my forehead, occasionally moving it to my cheeks. My whole body was trembling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Judging by the severity of his symptoms and the immediate reaction that took hold,” Kanaya spoke up, her voice more calming than usual. “I think it’s safe to assume this is some sort of panic attack.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“His ADHD medication,” Rose breathed with sudden realization. “It wore off. That would explain why he was having such a hard time concentrating on the movie.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think I’m going to fucking puke,” I muttered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, you’re more pale than usual,” Karkat then stood, washcloth still in hand. “Let’s get to the gaper, you fucking wriggler. I’m not cleaning up after you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He held my arm to pull me off the couch, continuing to hold onto me as we made our way to the bathroom just across the hall from where everyone was. He didn’t get the chance to close the door before I dropped to my knees in front of the toilet and lost my dinner then and there. Terezi, watching from across the way, was mildly disgusted by the sight, while Rose and Kanaya, who studied many books that covered many medical topics, were unfazed. Karkat was surprisingly collected, considering he was usually repulsed by such an action. Perhaps it was due to the fact that this wasn’t the first time I had thrown up in front of him. Maybe it was just because he loved me. Either way, he sighed and kneeled beside me, rubbing gentle circles between my shoulder blades as I heaved.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When I finally managed to stop, the trembling had ceased, but I was still pale and hyperventilating beyond my control. I closed the lid of the toilet and laid my arms down on it, burying my face in them. Karkat removed my shades for me, which I was okay with since my eyes were screwed shut anyways. Rose approached, standing at the doorway with crossed arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Focus on your breathing, Dave,” she said, looking down at us. “In for four, hold for seven, out for eight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s a lot of fucking steps,” Karkat retaliated, looking up at her with that harmless glare I loved so much. “Why don’t you write him a goddamn instruction manual? Some good it’ll do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t see you advising him on his medical issue.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just fucking count for me, dude,” I gasped. “I can’t think straight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He ceased his bickering with my twin sister for the time being, getting comfortable beside me to accurately count the seconds in the same groupings she had suggested. I had struggled the first few times, but after the fourth time, I had it down and was finally breathing like a normal human being. Rose had split from us to go back to the couch with Kanaya. Karkat’s hand remained on my back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When color returned to my cheeks and I was able to breathe through my nose, I gave a short nod. We both moved to sit back against the wall of the tub, facing the door, and I was under his arm instead with my head on his shoulder. Our knees were to our chests and he trailed his hand up and down my arm gently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, why is he so broken?” Terezi looked over at Rose and Kanaya as if they held any answers. They both shrugged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I would say trauma,” Rose said. “But this was caused by his medication. Or lack thereof.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll have to increase the dosage to prevent this from happening again,” Kanaya noted out loud. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You could’ve told me you were feeling so shitty,” Karkat then mumbled quietly and I felt his head tilt so he could look at me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In all honesty, I didn’t realize it was a panic attack until the movie was paused and I could hear myself think.” My voice was uncharacteristically raspy, but after spending five minutes heaving into a toilet bowl, that was to be expected. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad you’re okay now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me, too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>We sat in silence for a few more minutes before I found the strength to get up and brush my teeth. Karkat handed me my glasses and returned to the living room during that time and I soon followed. We switched things up so I could lay down. I used his thigh as a pillow, which I made clear to him was my favorite place to sleep. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You haven’t lived a good life if you haven’t had the chance to nap between his legs, hugging one while you use his thigh as a pillow. It’s one hell of an experience and I definitely recommend it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Get some sleep,” Karkat whispered softly as Kanaya began the movie again. His hand was in my hair and not a single part of me was complaining about that fact. “You need it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>My shades remained slightly crooked on the bridge of my nose as I listened to every word he said, dozing off peacefully on his lap.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Car Crash</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Small mentions of cuts and bruises from a car crash.<br/>This is how Dave gets in a car accident and Karkat and Jade have to go pick him up. Fairly domestic and sweet!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The shrill ringing of Karkat’s phone startled both him and Jade from their awkward trance. The two of them had been staring at the television for an hour now, not saying a word after Jade had, once again, brought up the suggestion of him and Dave dating her. The concept of it was just as strange and unpleasant as it was the first time she brought it up. Neither of them understood why she wouldn’t just give up on it. It had been nearly three years now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s Dave,” Karkat said as he lifted his phone from its resting place on the couch armrest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Put it on speakerphone,” Jade replied with a small smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If he wanted to talk to you, he would’ve called you. Don’t bother pausing the movie. I wasn’t paying any attention anyway.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat was short with her, but it wasn’t unexpected or uncalled for. He made his way to the kitchen and leaned back against the counter before hitting the green button and giving a short greeting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Kitkat. I’m in a bit of a predicament,” Dave’s voice rang into his ear at low quality.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop calling me that,” he snarled back. “Are those sirens I hear? What’s going on?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, uh…” He chuckled lightly. “I got in an accident. Kinda wrecked the car.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You did </span>
  <em>
    <span>what</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Karkat’s eyes were wide. Jade joined him in the kitchen doorway, raising an eyebrow at his tone of voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, sort of. Some dude was totally stoned out of his mind and kind of ran me off the road and then crashed into me. Pinned me between him and a tree. Car’s totaled.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jesus fucking Christ, Dave. Are you okay?” He sounded surprisingly calm, but his hands were trembling. Jade was getting more and more confused by the second as she couldn’t quite pick up what Dave was saying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m alright. Really. I just need someone to pick me up. I’m a little too sore to fly back. Is Jade there?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Turn on the microchip tracking device in your phone. We’ll come get you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“GPS, Kitkat. GPS.”</span>
</p><p><span>“Quit with the nickname, Strider.”</span><span><br/></span> <span>He hung up. He then turned to Jade and filled her in on the situation. While she wasn’t as concerned as he was, she was quick to get in the car and follow the directions he gave to get to Dave. </span></p><p>
  <span>The wreck was past the railing of a freeway and sure enough, the car was smashed beyond repair. There were two police cars and an ambulance, where the person who crashed into Dave was being loaded in for more severe injuries. He was sat against the railing, chewing his nails with anxiety. He had much more minor injuries but was no doubt sore as all hell. Jade parked to the side and Karkat jumped out once the car had slowed down just enough where he wouldn’t fall squarely on his face. Dave stood when he saw him and smiled a bit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Karkat. Good timing!” The pitch in his voice turned more into an exclamation as Karkat threw himself into the arms of his, undoubtedly, most favorite human being to ever walk the earth. His hands gripped his shirt and held him tightly. “Jesus, dude. You’re gonna knock us both into the concrete if you’re not careful.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you hurt? Where? Fuck, I should’ve brought the first aid kit.” Karkat had moved then to cup his cheeks, turning his head to each side to examine some very minor cuts from broken glass that were scattered across his shoulders near his neck. He then looked at some that were near his hands until Dave held his wrists to force him to lower his hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Babe,” he spoke softly so only he could hear. “I’m okay. Some cuts and bruises here and there, but I’m fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They looked up into each other’s eyes in a moment of silence. Or so Karkat assumed. Dave’s sunglasses were still intact somehow, but Dave was certainly looking at him. Karkat then shoved his face back into his chest and he held him back tightly, despite the ache in his chest and his back. Jade finally approached and Dave shot her a reassuring nod. She took Karkat’s place a moment later, but more in a friendly, non-intimate stance. It still pissed the small troll off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad you’re alright,” she said softly, and Dave nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me, too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jade drove them home safely before deciding to take off a few hours later to some guy’s house for the night. She didn’t have to say anything other than “I’m going out with a friend” to know what the night would entail for her. They didn’t ask questions and she didn’t give any more detail.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave had been laying in bed ever since they had arrived home, napping whenever he could manage to. His whole body ached like hell, so whenever he shifted, he would wake up again. But the second Jade had left, Karkat had come in to join him. At that time, Dave had turned on the television that sat at the foot of his bed on some shitty dresser that could just barely hold its own weight. He smiled up at his favorite little troll.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, what’s up?”</span>
</p><p><span>“Nothing,” he mumbled, stepping over piles of clothes laying on the floor to get in bed with him. “Just wanted to see how you’re holding up.”</span><span><br/></span> <span>“I’m okay.” Dave sat up more and held his arm up a bit for Karkat to come snuggle up to his side. “Sore. But okay.”</span></p><p>
  <span>“I figured as much. That wreck was… bad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Could’ve been worse. Did Jade leave?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. I wouldn’t expect her to be back for a couple of days. She’ll find another couch to hop to after tonight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave chuckled a little, his hand rubbing Karkat’s arm gently. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“To each their own, man. At least she can get it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh, stop talking,” Karkat stuck his tongue out with disgust and Dave laughed again. After a moment, Karkat made a risque comment. “Besides, it’s not like you can’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh? Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave’s voice didn’t show any sort of reaction, but Karkat could clearly see a blush growing on his cheeks. He reached up then and removed Dave’s shades, which he was still wearing for some godforsaken reason. He smiled then and kissed his nose lovingly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know exactly what I’m implying. Don’t play dumb.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you said Jade is gone for the night, correct?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat nodded once, his smile growing as Dave grinned devilishly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shit, I guess that means we’ll have to share the bed tonight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I expect to be sharing a lot more than that, Strider.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. In Which the Revolution Began</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This takes place in the Candy section of the epilogues, but with a twist in which Dave and Jade go to join Karkat's side of the revolution and the boys mend their broken relationship in ways that would be considered immoral to Jade.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Ultimately, the decision to join Karkat’s side of the revolution had been Jade’s choice. Dave eagerly followed in her lead, though he had first brought up the idea long ago and she had disregarded it, thinking nothing major would come of it. But they were married now, so he allowed Jade to think this was all her genius plan. Dave hid his fear and excitement well, as he always did behind the shades John had given him nearly a decade ago now. It seemed like it was only a few years back, at most.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joining Karkat’s side of the rebellion was easy for them since they had been so personally connected to him in the past and he knew they could be trusted. Others that chose to join had to go through some rigorous testing procedures to prove that they really were on his side and not some sort of spy or infiltrator for Jane’s so-called “democracy.” Nobody on her side seemed to care that she had turned a once operational government into a broken dictatorship. But Dave cared. He had watched the economy he had built with the creation of this universe completely crumble into nothing, the one he had built with his experience managing and overtaking the stock market in Land of Heat and Clockwork. The only difference was that he didn’t have Terezi’s help on that anymore, but he managed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had also managed to ruin the one relationship he truly cared about and was desperate to get him back, but remained unsure of how to go about it. Jade was in a similar boat but was much less likely to go after Karkat’s heart now that she was happily married to Dave. He wasn’t as happy in this partnership as she was. Despite being married for years now, he had yet to reveal his eyes to her. Not that it was so important to him anymore, but it was still something he would rather have someone else witness before anyone less worthy could. Someone like Karkat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Approaching the cave entrance Karkat had given them the coordinates to, Dave fumbled nervously with the hem of his shirt while Jade was gleeful. She seemed unbothered and more full of joy to see their long-lost friend once again (ex-boyfriend, in her case), but Dave was nearly shaking. He was still just as in love with him as he had been when they had been trapped on the meteor for three years, but they both had someone, so the issue was difficult to approach. </span>
</p><p><span>“Do you think he’s changed at all?” Jade snapped Dave out of a small trance, a familiar</span> <span>buck-toothed grin pulling at her cheeks. Dave thought he had once been in love with that smile, but thinking back, he thinks he was perhaps just nervous of the consequences if he hadn’t forced himself to love it.</span></p><p>
  <span>“Of course he’s changed,” he replied, looking towards the cave entrance they were only getting closer to. “Dude’s got an eyepatch now. Probably lots of battle scars and shit. He looks badass, honestly.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t mean changes to his physical features,” she giggles innocently. Dave’s mind wanders to the thought of the possible scars left on his body and is both saddened and slightly aroused by the idea. “I mean to his personality. Do you think he’s the same old Vantas we knew?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“None of us are the same as we used to be, Jade.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know that. But Karkat was pretty much always the same.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think he’s better at being a leader, but I can’t imagine he’s all that different otherwise. Again, he’s probably just more of a badass.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like you,” she cooed, leaning over to kiss his cheek lovingly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave wants to wipe it off. Tell her to stop and tell her how uncomfortable she’s always made him and how wrong everything always felt. And Jade had always recognized this from him, but just hoped it would go away and he would really start to love her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sometimes he did, but it was during the more intimate scenes that he gave her that hope. When he was so distracted with pleasure or the room was too dark and he was touch-starved and would take whoever was near. But his marriage to her only made him realize he was so much more attracted to other men. Karkat, specifically.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When they stepped foot in the cave, a sturdy titanium door was shut behind them, and some makeshift lights flickered on above their heads, swaying from the force of the door. And there he was, sat at his desk with his eyepatch and hood over his head. He didn’t smile, but Jade certainly did. She smiled enough for all three of them combined. Meenah was nowhere to be found which was a major relief on Dave’s part.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jade began going on and on about how much everyone missed him and how much his revolution had caused their daily lives to change, but Karkat and Dave locked eyes and froze in place. They thought they had been prepared for their encounter and it was clear that they were not prepared at all. After Jade fell silent again, Karkat finally broke the contact and Dave let out a loud sigh, a breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding the entire time.</span>
</p><p><span>“Yeah, leading a revolution is certainly a change, whether or not you’re involved,” he said, voice softer for the sake of the cave. Everything sounded a thousand times louder when it was echoing off stone walls. “We’ve got people working 24/7 to fix the shit Jane has fucked up in one way or another. I’m… glad you two chose to join us. It’s a major help just to have two more people in on the movement, but with you two being gods, it’s even better.”</span><span><br/></span> <span>“God tier,” Dave finally said. “I hate thinking of it like we’re actual gods. Makes me feel like I’ve got a complex.”</span></p><p>
  <span>“You have a million complexes to begin with, Strider. You’re fucking dumb.” A hint of a smile grew on Karkat’s lips, and Dave’s did the same.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s cool to see you again, dude.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. You, too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Karkat eventually beckoned them over and gave them more details on the different missions going on throughout their planet. Jade and Dave stood on either side of him as he went over everything. Both were thoroughly impressed with the things he had managed to do and he continued to speak as though it was really nothing to be proud of. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat eventually had them ushered away by Swifer individually to get changed into more appropriate gear. When Dave came out in his camouflage gear, Jade was gone and only Karkat remained, facing the doorway where Dave now stood. Karkat kept himself composed while the other felt as though all the air had suddenly left the room. The planet, even. But on the outside, the only giveaway was his flushed cheeks. Karkat’s soon followed suit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You uh… look good in the new gear. I’ve never seen you wear green before.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Green’s not my color,” he replied, his voice getting softer with each word. He ran a hand through his hair. “Never has been.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know. I lived with you for a long time.” Karkat rolled his eyes, then stood. Dave wanted to snicker and made a snide comment on his height. Or lack thereof. “I know you well, Dave. That’s part of why I’m glad you decided to join. I know what you’re capable of.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was all Jade’s idea, so-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I also know that’s what you told her and yourself, but I think we’re both well aware that you came here completely on your own free-will and desire.”  His mouth turned up into a grin more while the other quickly closed his. “And honestly, if we’re talking as bros, I fucking missed you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave wanted to cry. He could feel the tears threatening to spill from behind his shades, but he wouldn’t let them, no matter how hard they tried. He quickly blinked them away and let out a short laugh that sounded more like a gasp.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I missed you too, man. Shit’s felt real fucked up ever since you left. Not that you didn’t make the right choice or anything, but… it’s sucked.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought you liked Jade.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t say that I don’t. I do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And yet, you clearly feel out-of-place in the relationship.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave looked around briefly as if ensuring she was really out of earshot. He then took a deep breath and kept his eyes locked with Karkat’s. Or at least the one eye he could see. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Everyone was right, you know.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His head tilted slightly to Dave’s right as if he didn’t understand, but he understood perfectly well. He just needed to hear him say it. To admit to everything. Dave, sensing this, kept going after a moment of silence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was totally into you. Ever since we were stuck on that stupid meteor. And I shouldn’t be as fucking fluttery as I am telling you this since I know you were into me, too. I guess… it’s just the first time I’m even admitting it to myself? Out loud, I mean. I think I’ve admitted it before but only by asking myself more obvious questions. And I say this like it’s all past-tense and that may be the biggest issue for me because it’s not. I’m fairly fucking sure I’m still just as into you as before.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can say you’re in love, Dave,” Karkat rolled his eye. “You don’t always have to keep up this cool kid facade. You can be yourself around me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>That’s </span>
  </em>
  <span>what you took away from everything I just said?” He laughed a little, partially in relief and partially with anxiety. “Jesus, dude. You really haven’t changed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you want me to tell you?” He cocked his eyebrow but he still had a shit-eating grin permanently on his cheeks. “That I’m still completely head-over-heels in love with the one and only Dave Strider? First of all, I have a reputation to hold up here, and second of all, I’m pretty sure that’s fucking obvious to you, even if we both have a matesprit now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We both know you don’t give a flying fuck about your reputation as a leader. You didn’t even want to be one again after you outgrew it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not wrong. They call me ‘commander’ now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fucking weird.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And they use my second name.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, Karkles.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat perked up at the nickname and Dave’s smirk widened. Once upon a time, he would’ve punched him in the arm to get him to stop calling him stupid diminutives for one goddamn second, but it was a welcome change now. A loving one.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He then stood, his cape following him off the back of the chair and just barely hovering above the floor as he stepped forward to approach Dave. Their hearts raced the closer they got. Dave’s head had to tilt down slightly to look at Karkat, who seemed to take in his new appearance for a second time. When his hands came to his chest, a touch that Dave was used to with Jade but somehow felt so much different now, he realized they really were alone. He didn’t know where everyone had gone, Meenah and Jade and Swifer, but it didn’t really matter. There was no risk of interruption, otherwise he wouldn’t be getting so dangerously close. But Dave didn’t mind one bit, though he was nearly shaking as he brought his hands to Karkat’s hips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I take them off?” He suddenly asked, his hands moving from the blond’s chest and up to his cheeks, fingers gently nudging the temples of his shades. Karkat had never spoken so softly and genuinely before, so how could Dave say no?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He carefully pulled them off, moving his arms over his shoulders. Dave could feel the ends of his shades barely poking his back, but more importantly, he could feel Karkat pressed tight against his body, warm and inviting despite his arguably intimidating appearance. He just found it kind of hot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His red orbs met light yellow ones and instead of panic or relief from either of them, they just smiled. They could feel each other’s hearts beating rapidly through their chests. Dave’s grip tightened.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What were you so afraid of?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing. Well, not as of recently.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“On the meteor?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Scaring you.” Dave smiled more and leaned down just slightly. Their foreheads were now together, noses bumping. “They’re kind of demonic.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Neither of them should’ve been partaking in such sinful acts when they had their mates elsewhere, but this was built up. It was extreme. It was necessary at this point and they needed it more than anything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat’s smile grew with Dave’s before he finally pulled him down just slightly more and finally connected their lips. Strider wasted no time in reciprocating, his arms fully around his waist as he pulled him more into his body.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave noticed the conscious effort Karkat made to avoid cutting his lips with his sharp teeth and he couldn’t help but smile. But with everything so built up between the two, the pain of it would’ve been a welcome sensation. And finally having each other after so many long years of tension and struggle, it didn’t take long for things to get a little heated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He then pushed the troll in his arms back until he was leaning on his desk, hovering over him enough to cast a shadow over his figure. He pulled away briefly to look down at him. Karkat was slightly breathless now, looking up at Dave with a new expression. One Dave had only dreamed of. He held himself up just a bit with one elbow and his other hand was in Dave’s hair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to worry about not hurting me,” he finally mentioned, smirking. Karkat rolled his eyes again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really? What are you, a masochist?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave only grinned more, making him laugh and move his hand from Dave’s hair to his forehead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Holy fucking shit, you are something else.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aww, come on, Karkles.” He leaned down, taking his lips once more. “Bite me.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Headaches</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Mild mention of blood.<br/>Karkat gets a migraine and Dave treats him to a calming morning with a hot shower and skin-to-skin contact like Karkat loves.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>Bu-bum.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I rolled over in Dave’s arms with a soft groan, turning to face away from him. My eyes were screwed shut with pain and his hand that had been resting on my hip moved to slip under my shirt (his shirt) and hold me with warm contact. Skin-to-skin. That’s always been my favorite and he always remembers that when holding me. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Bu-bum.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I let out a soft breath, my own hand moving to gently hold on to his, squeezing it gently as if to test if he was awake or not. He didn’t respond with a reciprocating squeeze, but I could tell that he was by the way he tilted his head to kiss the back of my neck, then moved to rest his chin on my shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Bu-bum.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave saw the pain in the way my nose was scrunched up, my eyes still shut tightly. I knew opening them would only hurt that much more. I felt his lips on my cheek and I leaned further into his touch. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Bu-Bum.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I could feel my heartbeat in my temple and it was killing me. Migraines weren’t uncommon for me. With how stressed out I got from the most basic shit, it was surprising how I didn’t get them even more often than I did. Headaches were one thing, something on a weekly basis. Migraines were once or twice a month. But time on this ship didn’t really make any sense, so who’s to say how long a “month” really was? </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Bu-Bum.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>These soft mornings with Dave, feeling him kiss down my neck and shoulders and holding onto me as if I would disappear, were my favorite. I loved curling up beside him whenever he woke up before me and chose to play on his phone. I would drape a leg over him, usually coming to rest between his, and make fun of whatever he was doing until he would turn his attention to me instead. He was always smiling when he finally did, so I knew he didn’t mind. Seeing his eyes in the morning was my favorite part of it all, though I’d never tell him that. Maybe in the vows that I totally haven’t written yet. Not at all. Why would I jump the gun like that?</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Bu-Bum.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“What hurts?” Dave’s voice was quiet, but also gravelly and soft at the same time. Rough with sleep, soft to soothe me. I could feel his eyes on me and his warmth against my back. Any noise usually hurt me when I had headaches like this, but his voice had always been somewhat of an exception. “Is it your head?” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Bu-Bum.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I nodded and turned again in his arms. He let me snake my arms around his neck and pull him down closer. He hovered over me now and moved his hand back to my side, trailing it up and down but avoiding my grub scars. I sighed softly, my hands balled up in his shirt and my face tucked happily into the crook of his neck. I breathed in his scent happily. He was the smell of safety. Happiness. Home. He always smelled so fucking good, too.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Bu-Bum.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Holding onto him helped a little, but the pain was still overpowering. I wanted to cry so I clung on tighter. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Please don’t let go of me…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Bu-Bum.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want me to get you some medicine, love?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His hand was in my hair, playing gently with my messy curls. This was a side of him only I ever got to see and vice versa. I would hold his hand and snuggle to his side when we were with friends or out in the common area alone, along with the occasional peck on the lips or cheek, but nothing more. Everything else was reserved for the bedroom. Well, at least we did our best to reserve it for the bedroom. We didn’t always succeed. But the extra sweet stuff, the things I had only dreamed of getting from someone like in the movies, that was something that never came out in front of others or left the bed. It was special.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Bu-Bum.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, don’t…” My voice always sounded the same in the mornings, save for a slightly deeper tone. But right now, it was near a whisper. Speaking hurt. “Don’t leave me, please. Stay here…”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Bu-Bum.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’ll only be a second. You won’t even know I’m gone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I felt his lips on me again, my ear and my neck, and he even pulled on the sleeve of my (his) shirt to kiss my shoulder. But I could only shake my head again. I wanted him to stay. I wanted to have his arms around me forever and I didn’t want him in another room, even though it was only maybe fifteen feet away and the door would stay open. He would still be within eyesight, but he wouldn’t be within reach. I needed him there. He sighed and respected my wishes, holding me tighter.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Bu-Bum.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“How about I bring you with me, then?” Dave pulled away just enough to meet my eyes, which I opened when I realized he wanted to see me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>My heart melted when I saw his eyes for the first time that morning. And having him on top of me was another skipped heartbeat. I always loved when he was above me, regardless of if it was an intimate act or not. I just felt safer under him. He had always protected me. I would never say it out loud, not even in my totally unwritten vows, but I liked to have him protect me, even if I didn’t need it. There was something about it that made me happy. The fact that I was worth protecting made me feel warm and happy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can start a hot shower, I can take my meds, and I can get you some painkillers. Or maybe some melatonin. I know it’s morning, but it might be worth sleeping this out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Bu-Bum.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I winced again as another beat made my head throb with pain. It was nauseating.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. Melatonin. I can’t stay awake another fucking second of this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Need me to carry you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was a trick question. If I said yes, he would carry me to the shower no problem. If I said no, he would say “too bad,” then carry me anyways. I didn’t need to be, but I wanted to be. So I nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave pulled away from my arms and made his way around the bed to come pick me up. He had gone to pick me up like a bride, but I was quick to latch onto him like a koala, my ankles locking my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck again. I went right back to breathing him in and I heard him chuckle lightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re so clingy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Bu-Bum.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I let him carry me to the bathroom and set me down gently on the counter. I kept my head down and my hands covering my eyes to shield them from the lights that he had to turn on. I listened to him close and lock the bathroom door, even though it was our private bathroom anyway, and open a pill bottle. I recognized the sound of it as his Adderall. Then I heard the creak of the cabinet and another bottle open. He took one of my hands and placed two melatonin gummies in my palm, double the dose to make sure I was knocked out as quickly as possible. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I tilted my head back and practically swallowed them whole. I just needed them to work. He stepped away and started the shower, then returned to me, stepping up between my legs. His hands were on my hips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I undress you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I didn’t hesitate to mumble out a soft “yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Bu-Bum.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave’s warm, soft hands pulled my (his!) shirt over my head and toss it into the hamper we had by the door. They then moved down, hooking into the pockets of my shorts. I moved my hands to his shoulders for leverage, lifting myself off the counter for him to slide them off. I repeated this when he went to pull off my boxers (which were also technically his. I stole all of his clothes, but he thought it was cute so he didn’t ever try to stop me). Once I was undressed, we let go of each other and he stripped down as well. I watched, admiring his features. I was able to pinpoint exactly how he had changed from when we were kids. He was seriously fucking gorgeous and I was well aware of how lucky I was. Before I knew it, his arms were around me again and he was lifting me off the counter. I hooked my legs around him tight again and he stepped into the shower carefully. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Bu-Bum.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He was strong as hell now and I was fairly light so he didn’t have an issue holding me under the water. If anything, I think he preferred it. And so did I, without a doubt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I sighed softly as he let me have a majority of the space under the showerhead and I could feel his eyes on me. I refused to open mine since when I had, I had the distraction of watching him undress in front of me. Now that he was no longer doing so, the light was bound to irritate my head further. I bumped our foreheads together adoringly, my hands coming to cup his cheeks. I felt him smile and nudge his nose against mine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave tilted his head just a bit and kissed me softly. I immediately moved with him, holding my breath and making sure not to cut him with my teeth. Curse human flesh for being so soft. I couldn’t even nibble without risking hurting him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Our first kiss had been a mistake in that matter. It had been soft, but when I went to gently nibble, I cut him. He played it off as nothing, but when I tasted blood, I pulled out my phone to use as a light to see how bad it really was. Sometimes I wonder if I really did hurt him that day and he was simply trying to spare my feelings, but he insists that he didn’t feel anything substantial. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He still says that when I bite</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Bu-Bum.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>We kissed under the water for a while, enjoying the moment alone. Judging by the fact that my headache wasn’t clearing, our day would likely be spent alone together, but it was still worth savoring. Every moment was worth savoring with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave broke the chain of kisses after a bit and chuckled lightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re getting sleepy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was right. My eyelids felt heavy now and my head was swaying. I nodded gently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. I think I’m ready to go lay back down.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave promptly reached behind me and turned off the water. This was the only time he set me down on my feet.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Bu-Bum.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He helped me dry off, but didn’t bother getting us dressed again. He helped me into bed, where I blindly reached over for the remote connected to our electric blanket. I turned it on a few notches, my eyes closed the whole time. I felt him climb in beside me, on his side of the bed, and wrap his arms around me again just like before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Will you sleep with me?” I practically croaked out, turning just a bit so I could open my eyes and look at him one last time. He smiled warmly, kissing my nose.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll lay with you, baby. I’ll probably stay awake, though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good enough for me,” I groaned, turning fully now. This forced him to lay on his back and I shifted closer to his side, my head resting on his bare chest. I could feel his heartbeat against my ear and I felt safe again. His arm moved, resting on the curve of my waist. I closed my eyes again and simply listened to his heart and breathed in his calming scent. He leaned down and kissed my head.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Bu-Bum.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you,” Dave whispered as my breathing evened out and I began to finally fade.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you, too…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>More than you’ll ever know.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Bu-Bum.</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. 880 Black Heart</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Karkat paints Dave's nails!<br/>Based on the color I'm currently wearing, which is 880 Black Heart Sally Hansen Hard as Nails. It's just black, so nothing fancy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Dude, why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave looked up at Karkat, who had just re-entered the room with a small box full of small glass jars filled with color. It was Kanaya’s, but she had loaned it to him for the time being so he could do what he had always wanted to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your fingers freak me out. Why are they clear at the nail?” Karkat questioned the boy before him as he took a seat near the middle of the couch rather than the opposite end, his thigh against Dave’s. He opened the little box and began digging through to find a good color. Something neutral, but something they would both like. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know man, but I really paused your shitty troll rom-com for this. You don’t let me pause our movies when I have to piss. How is this more important?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat was silent for a moment as he finally found the perfect color, one that could suit anybody no matter their personality or gender (since that was something Dave was always so hung up about, which the small troll didn’t really understand). </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not shitty, and still just as important. Unpause it and give me your hand. I’m paying attention.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave rolled his eyes, unbeknownst to Karkat since he was still wearing his shades even though it was dark in the room save for the husk top screen. He shifted a bit so one leg was up on the couch and he could face Karkat, then held out his right hand as he hit the play button. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat wouldn’t let him peek at his work until he was finished, so Dave kept his eyes on the screen and tried to ignore the cold brush on the tips of his fingers, which he was hyperaware of since it was such a new sensation to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had always wanted to paint his nails some neutral color when he was younger but </span>
</p><p>
  <span>never did out of fear of getting locked back up in the fridge for the night by his Bro or just getting his ass handed to him on the roof for doing something ‘gay’. Inwardly, he was freaking the fuck out in the best way possible. Having his nails finally painted was exciting on its own, but his hand was being held gently by Karkat’s and he was being careful of the bites he had left on his fingers from when he chewed his nails, and the whole feeling of it all was leaving his heart in a frenzy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat was in a similar boat. He had always wanted to do small things with Dave besides watching movies every night and falling asleep on the couch together. He loved it, but he wanted to pick Dave’s outfits. He wanted to have drawing contests with him. He wanted to sit beside Dave and have him teach him the way he went about making beats for his music. He wanted to sit on the couch in dim light and paint his nails because Karkat knew, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span>, that Dave’s Bro had fucked him up so much that he felt like he couldn’t do basic fun shit and Karkat wanted so badly to teach Dave that it was all okay. Karkat wanted to heal Dave right the fuck back up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat was holding his hand so gently, admiring the fact that despite the irritated skin and scars from the chewing, it was still so soft and nice to hold. Their relationship was somewhat new to them both, though they had had their fair share of intimate encounters. Who could blame them? The tension had built up long enough anyways. But Dave was keen on keeping up his cool kid facade and Karkat was so far deep in the Strider charms that he couldn’t seem to work up the courage to do much most of the time, so those encounters were minimal. Small gestures such as this would have to do for the time being. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Karkat finished on his right hand, he laid Dave’s hand on his thigh and reached for his other hand to get started. Karkat felt him squeeze gently and they both smiled a bit more. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You better not be painting my fingers neon green or some shit,” he said, willingly allowing Karkat to do whatever he needed to do to finish the process. “I don’t need to be called out for this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No one’s going to call you out for shit regardless. And no, I have taste. I would never subject you to an ugly color like that unless you asked me to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For ironic purposes?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Dave. For ironic purposes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave never once turned his head from the screen and respected Karkat’s request of not glancing until he was done. They were both smiling still and they only felt more at ease when Dave’s thumb gently stroked Karkat’s thigh as he kept working on his second hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When that was done, Karkat pulled both of his hands up, blowing on them a few times to quicken the drying process. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dude, don’t blow on my hands. That’s weird,” Dave instinctively turned his head to look at him, but he avoided looking at the tips of his fingers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will do a lot weirder things to your hands if you don’t shut your mouth and let me work.” Karkat met his eyes through his shades and he immediately smirked devilishly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that a threat or a promise?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Strider,” he growled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Vantas,” Dave purred back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat couldn’t keep biting back a big grin then and laughed a bit, melting his heart in the process. A light blush dusted Dave’s cheeks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re such a fucking dork.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat gave his nails a bit longer to dry and they both turned back to watch the movie in the meantime, Dave’s hands still nested in his, until he finally ran his finger lightly along each finger to make sure they were ready. They were.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, Dave. They’re ready. You can look now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He did just as he was told and his eyes widened a bit from under his shades, his eyebrows lifting with his expression. He was pleased by the black gloss that coated his nails now. It actually worked well and he didn’t have a complex about it, though he was still worried about what someone else would say about it. Karkat practically read his mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a noticeable color,” he said, meeting Dave’s eyes once again. “But it’s pretty neutral and it’ll work with any outfit, so no one’s going to point it out or anything. And besides,” He then held up his own hands besides Dave’s, showing him his own naturally black nails that all trolls had. “Now we match.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave’s lips grew into another big smile and the next thing Karkat knew, he was being pulled into a soft kiss that made his cheeks burn.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like them,” he mumbled softly against his lips. Karkat’s mimicked his lover’s, and he moved in for another kiss.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good. Confidence is a good look for you. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Real </span>
  </em>
  <span>confidence.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat’s hands cupped his cheeks as their lips moved in sync for a bit, the movie long forgotten as they focused on each other. Dave’s right hand then moved to his chest, pushing him back onto the couch slightly as he moved with to hover over him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now, what was that about doing things with my hands?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat chuckled, grabbing his wrist and very subtly leading it down his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let me show you.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Top Scars</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warning: Brief mention of suicide (in a more joking manner).<br/>Karkat asks Dave about his top scars and Dave is forced to explain his identity to him.<br/>Note: I am non-binary so I don't fully understand the implications of being ftm transgender, but I did do my best to go about it carefully and do a bit of research.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Karkat was finally in my bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That sounds like a strange phrase to begin with, but it was true. He had finally agreed to sleep in my bed with me for the night and he insisted that the only reason was because of a dream he had the night before that left him near tears. While I knew that was true, since he came running to find me immediately after he woke up, I also knew there was more to it. He loved napping with me on the couch, though I doubt he’d ever work up the courage to say it out loud. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But there were a few details I had simply forgotten about.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I had pretty much transitioned already, at least as much as I possibly could for the time being. Rose was able to alchemize testosterone doses for me (her and Kanaya being the only ones who knew so far), and I had gotten top surgery long ago, during the first year on the meteor (again, thanks to Rose and Kanaya for getting the materials needed and doing extensive amounts of research to make sure I would be okay). Everyone had been aware that I was getting some sort of surgery done, but we refused to disclose anything more than that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat and I had started dating almost six months ago and our relationship had yet to ignite anything intimate, but I was so comfortable with him that I completely spaced keeping everything a secret. Though the timing was good, I suppose. He deserved to know and he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>literally </span>
  </em>
  <span>laying in my bed, waiting for me to join him, all cozy and shit. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>When did he put on my hoodie?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I turned to my dresser to change into a more comfortable shirt, as sleeping with my cape wasn’t exactly the most comfortable thing unless we were laying on the couch together and he forced me to let him use it as a blanket. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I could hear him blabbering on about some really convoluted metaphorical horseshit like I constantly did when he fell silent. I hadn’t been paying much attention, but I looked when he shut up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You good?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are those?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat pointed at my chest and I could feel my cheeks get a bit rosy. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Right…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Scars. Duh.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not stupid, asshole,” he growled and I huffed a small laugh. “I mean what are they from? Did you do something stupid I’m not aware of?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I tell you about every dumb idea I have, don’t worry.” I pulled my clean shirt over my head and crawled into bed with him. I already had some flannel pajama pants on. I was cozy as fuck, but Karkat was in fluffy pajamas and now had my hoodie, which was far too large on him, on with the hood of it covering his horns. He had me beat without a doubt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then what are they from?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck, I guess I gotta tell you about this shit now, huh?” I chuckled nervously, avoiding his stare. I rubbed the back of my neck. “Okay, so like, I’m transgender, so-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the fuck is a ‘transgender’?” I could hear the distaste in his voice and I almost laughed again. He hated when I talked about something he didn’t understand or used terminology that wasn’t in his vocabulary. I knew he wouldn’t have any issues with my identity.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In my case, it means I was born a girl but it didn’t… feel right? Like, my body was a girl and my brain said ‘fuck no, here’s some dysphoria and estrogen that you’ll want to kill yourself for having’, so I went off and made myself into a boy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” he hummed softly, turning his head to look down at his lap, finger on his chin in thought. “So you’re a male human with female human anatomy?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jesus, you picked up on that a lot faster than I thought.” My eyes were a little wide. “I used to have to explain this to other people for like, ten minutes and they still wouldn’t get it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, well it’s a pretty simple concept and humans are dumb. You of all people should know that. But that still doesn’t explain the scars.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, right. Sorry. They’re from that surgery Rose and Kanaya did for me. I used to have to bind my chest so it would look like I didn’t have ti-... Uh, the same curves that Rose has for example. They made me feel bad. Really, really bad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s the dysphoria you were talking about, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I nodded. “Yeah, they basically surgically removed what I had there so now I actually have a flat chest and don’t have to bind it so tight I can’t do basic shit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat hummed again in thought. I felt my nerves fading little by little, though there wasn’t much there to begin with. I knew explaining it all to him would be the hard part since I was well aware that there wouldn’t be an issue of transphobia with him. His species was kind of cool like that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And… below the waist?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Still a girl. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get that surgery done unfortunately, even though I’d kill for it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Damn,” he muttered, his cheeks turning red. I raised an eyebrow, finally turning my head to look at him. He quickly corrected himself. “Sorry, no, I don’t mean that as a bad thing. I was just… I’ve been kind of researching male anatomy for you so when- I-I mean, </span>
  <em>
    <span>if</span>
  </em>
  <span>, we decided to-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, you were right with the first one,” I grinned a bit. “When. Continue.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, fuck you.” He reached over and punched my arm, and I laughed. “I was researching so that I would be able to make you feel good, but uh… I guess I was studying the wrong thing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You shouldn’t resort to books for that information. But that’s really cute that you’re so focused on that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His cheeks turned red, but he tilted his head. “Why shouldn’t I read about it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, knowing shit about it is good, don’t get me wrong, but… every human is different and the body likes what it likes, so the books might say ‘this is how to get the job done’ when for me, it’s like a completely different job and a whole different career option, y’know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat blinked a few times, keeping his eyes up on mine through my shades. “Uh, no, I don’t know, but… I think I’m definitely willing to learn if you would… rather teach me yourself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When we get down to it, yeah. I think teaching you myself would be the best way. But for now, I am desperate to get some fucking sleep, so come here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I held my arm out a bit to give him space to snuggle into me, which he quickly did with a soft sigh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, sorry. That conversation really got away from me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s cool, dude. No worries.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I ran my hand up and down his arm before, with my free one, reaching up to take my shades off, setting them beside me on the bedside table. He laid his head on my chest as I finally pulled him to lay down under the covers with me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I… like the way you are now,” he mumbled softly. I looked down at him, this time actually looking at him with nothing between my eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“With a flat chest and all that. It sounds weird but I uh, really like being able to hear your heart beating when I get to lay on you. It’s calming.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I couldn’t help but break into a big smile at that. I squeezed him gently, pulling him closer and pressing my lips to his forehead. I knew I didn’t deserve him. He always said otherwise or that it was simply the other way around, but I felt strongly that he was so fucking wrong. He was so fucking incredible and I planned to let him know that for a long time to come. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. The Day Karkat Realized</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The very moment Karkat realized he was in love with Dave.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Dave was laughing. Really laughing. And I was staring. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I couldn’t remember what I had said. Probably some sarcastic comment or some shitty metaphor he had always taken a liking to, or maybe I had made some ridiculous reference to a movie we had watched together the night before, but it didn’t matter because he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>laughing </span>
  </em>
  <span>and my chest felt </span>
  <em>
    <span>tight</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I had never seen him laugh. A chuckle here and there, sure, but never this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was leaning back against the counter, a hand on his head and his shades slightly more crooked on the bridge of his nose. His cheeks were turning red and I noticed his dimples, which he made more of an effort to hide than his eyes, were out in full force. I ached. My eyes were wide, eyebrows raised, and a blush rising on my cheeks, spreading to my ears. My heart was going a mile a minute and I couldn’t stop my thoughts from running and spilling directly into my heart.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I love him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I love Dave. I love that stupid fucking grin and his stupid blond hair and his stupid metaphors that never make any sense and I love his stupid fucking face and I always have.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I couldn’t tell if my mouth was open in awe or if I had broken out into a huge smile. But my face was on fire and the second Dave was finally able to take in a breath and stop himself from laughing hysterically, I knew he would notice.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I want to make him that happy every day.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dude, you’re fuckin’ funny. Also, are you good? You’re all red in the face.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I couldn’t think. He was talking to me and I couldn’t understand a fucking word. I was awestruck and finally realizing just how in love I was with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So I hugged him, hiding my red face in his even redder shirt. I felt him freeze then, but I didn’t let go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I wanted to be able to hug him like this whenever I wanted. Not just when we were alone in the kitchen at two in the morning when we knew no one else was awake. I wanted to be able to kiss those lips I had some sort of fixation on and could never stop talking about, which I had never understood fully until now. I wanted to be able to snuggle into the sheets with him and nap on the couch with him until our limbs were numb and we couldn’t find the will or energy to move them. I wanted to wake up with him in the late afternoon and get made fun of by our friends as a pair rather than as individuals and watch him make my tea while wearing one of my sweatshirts and I sat on the counter beside him, watching the coffee pot fill with the strong, bitter taste he liked for some reason while I buried myself deeper into one of his hoodies. Or into his cape. I hated the taste of coffee, but I wanted to taste it on his lips. I wanted to hold him and I wanted him to hold me, too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I wanted to be his. And I wanted him to be mine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yo, Karkat, are you… Are you good?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave’s arms finally snaked around me and I felt his thumb stroking my back gently. I nodded into his chest, my eyes screwed shut as I let my mind wander to imagine events that I led myself to believe would never take place. Because I didn’t think that he felt the same way and the very idea of that </span>
  <em>
    <span>hurt</span>
  </em>
  <span>. So I just held on tight to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You just falling more for the Strider charms?” His tone was smug and arrogant and I could hear the humor in his voice. “I know you can’t resist me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I huffed against his shirt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut the fuck up, you prick.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And my voice broke. Tears had welled up and wouldn’t come out with my eyes closed and my throat felt heavy. That got him to shut up and I wished I hadn’t opened my mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, are you-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. Stop. I don’t want to talk about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t know what to do and I choked back my tears so he wouldn’t feel obligated to try to get me to stop crying. I didn’t know exactly why I was crying all of a sudden, but I could only assume it was because I knew I couldn’t have him. At least, not yet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It didn’t come as a shock to me that he didn’t know what the fuck to do. Dave never got any sort of comfort or consolation up until he opened up to (mainly) Rose and me about his past with his brother. Being locked in a fridge some days and not eating during the other days, sneaking food into his room whenever he could so he could at least survive, and maintaining any friendships he had over the internet because he knew he couldn’t have any friends in his real life. He knew that if he had any, his brother would find out and that would be the end of it. It hurt to hear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But now, having the contact he never had before, it was no wonder he didn’t know what to do. Touch wasn’t exactly in his skillset. But he was hugging me back, his touch becoming less and less awkward the longer I held on, so that was a start.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I wanted to fix him and teach him that talking to me, to any of our friends, about his past was okay. It didn’t have to be sappy and sad, but he could talk to us if he needed. He could hug us. He could most certainly hug me, which I thought was obvious since he fell asleep on my lap constantly during the end of our movie nights. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>They were like dates. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>It was no wonder my feelings were so strong all of a sudden. They had been there all along. It was all built up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I wanted him to trust me with his feelings, too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know, you’re my favorite person on this stupid fucking meteor,” I mumbled into his chest. He pressed more of his weight into the counter behind him so I could lean further into him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I know.” His hand then moved into my hair. I melted even more into his chest and I could hear his heart speed up. It gave me hope.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His fingers played with my curls. I didn’t know what about my hair caught his attention. Maybe it was a sensory thing with his ADHD, but he was always playing with my hair any chance he got. He liked to twist the curls gently around his finger, then let them go and watch them spring back. He had put me to sleep more times than I could count by simply touching my hair. Rose told me that he had talked about how much he liked my hair, then proceeded to call after me, saying that I had something in common with Dave when I stormed off quickly, flustered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re my favorite, too,” he finally mumbled after a few moments of silence. I smiled and relaxed a bit. I moved one hand to his chest, my palm to his heart, and my head tilted up to look at him. I then reached up to move his shades. I took them and hooked them on the collar of his shirt, moving my hand right back over his heart. He blinked a few times to adjust to the light in the kitchen, then met my gaze. I had seen his eyes in the past, so this wasn’t a major moment for him. Every time I saw his eyes was a major moment for me, though. I loved his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I love you.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know I am, Strider.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Wedding Day</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Dave and Karkat attend Rose and Kanaya's wedding and Dave finally buckles down to do something he and the others have been waiting far too long for. (Also, Dave walks Rose down the aisle and that makes my little heart happy.)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Dave, you’re fucking stupid.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not my fault my dad was a piece of shit who didn’t teach me anything but how to avoid plush puppet ass whenever the situation presented itself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And it’s not my fault my lusus was a literal crab and only ever ate dead things and screeched at me, yet I know how to tie a fucking tie.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave let Karkat step between him and the mirror so he could fix the mess of a tie around his neck. He grinned a little as he watched Karkat work, noticing how he chewed his lip when focusing and mumbled bitterly to himself when zoning out. That was something he took after spending so much time with Dave. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There. Done.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The red fabric was done perfectly around his neck and Karkat reached up to fix the collar of his dress shirt over it. He then let his hands slip down his shoulders and rest on his chest and he looked up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t understand why you have to wear your shades for this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know exactly why.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re the only one who cares, you know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave’s eyes rolled back behind his glasses and he sighed softly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dude, I know. Can we drop it and just take note of how awesome I look in this suit? I mean, how is this </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>getting you all hot and bothered right now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat groaned and shoved his head against his chest, following with an exasperated sigh. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are just really full of it today, aren’t you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not denying it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you really need me to confirm that this suit is sexy as all fuck on you? Can’t you stroke your own ego in your spare time?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave chuckled then and Karkat was biting back a smile as he faced downward.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean, I am going to be the one walking Rose down the aisle, so some confirmation that I look good would be nice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dave, trust me.” Karkat then moved to look up at him. He was already in his own black suit and gray tie. Having never worn such attire in front of Dave before, he found himself admiring what he had managed to make his own from the privacy of his dark glasses. Karkat could feel his eyes whenever he stared but said nothing against it. “I wouldn’t let you go out looking like shit. Not for your sake, but for Rose’s and Kanaya’s.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s good enough for me.” Dave dipped down a little to kiss him sweetly and Karkat was quick to reciprocate, his hands remaining on his chest. He was careful not to mess up any part of his appearance. Though neither of them would admit it out loud unless in a </span>
  <em>
    <span>certain </span>
  </em>
  <span>mood, they both wanted to savor the outfits they both donned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rose was watching from the doorway, already in dress and veil. She found herself smiling, not quite catching everything they said but adoring their interaction. Rose had watched them both grow their relationship very closely, her psychological analyses proving themselves surprisingly accurate over time. But she was just happy for them, and for Dave especially, who grew up very poorly and had very little support. She was glad that he had Karkat, and that Karkat had him. It killed her to wait for their wedding, but Dave had yet to even pop the question and the anticipation was becoming far too much for their own good. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave had confided in her and Roxy plenty of times in the past regards to the topic. Karkat had made it clear that the proposals in his favorite romcoms, especially the human ones that mainly John had introduced him to, were heart-wrenching and something he only ever dreamed of. Dave had watched him go wide-eyed and felt him cling onto his arm tighter and he took careful notes in his head about each scene to try and create the most perfect proposal he could. Rose and Roxy had put in their own ideas and expressed their excitement for him and he still kept the ring with him when he could, sometimes in his wallet or in the box in his backpack if he could. The idea of it scared him which was understandable to them all but it was a long time coming. Rose hoped that Dave could grow the courage to finally do it himself after seeing her wedding. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After Dave and Karkat broke apart, both of them smiling a bit, Rose knocked twice on the door and stepped in. Their heads turned quickly and Dave took a step back to put a bit of space between him and Karkat. She closed the door behind her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hope I’m not interrupting anything of importance.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Woah, Rose, you look…” Dave’s eyes widened, his eyebrows raising a bit being the only indicator. Karkat’s jaw had hit the floor. “You look amazing, holy shit. You got the perfect dress.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, Dave. It took quite a lot of deliberation, but I’m pleased with the dress I went with. You don’t look so bad yourself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kanaya is gonna have a field day with this. So are the photographers.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That is the idea, though I have a feeling Kanaya’s dress may have me beat by a landslide. But who am I to say? I am a bit biased.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is it almost time?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She gave a short nod. Dave looked over at Karkat again, who also gave a nod in understanding. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Karkat, your seat is in the front, beside Dave’s. Left side.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Rose.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He went over, standing on his toes and giving Dave a kiss on the cheek before leaving. He started after him subconsciously and Rose giggled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When are you going to propose?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck, I don’t know, man.” He reached up, rubbing the back of his neck and turning his head off to the side. His cheeks had turned a light shade of pink. “I totally want to obviously. I’m just way too fucking nervous. Why is it that we can fight for our lives for so many years and it’s proposing to my goddamn boyfriend, who isn’t going to say ‘no’, that scares the absolute shit out of me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a scary thing, Dave. I mean, I knew Kanaya wasn’t going to reject me but I was still terrified. But you’re right. Karkat most definitely will say ‘yes’. He loves you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know. I just don’t want to fuck it up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re putting too much pressure on yourself. Whatever you do, he’s going to be telling the story of it up until his last breath. We’re all dying for you two to get married already. One day, you’re just going to have to go for it. No matter what, it’ll end up fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding and nodded. “Yeah, I know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rose reached out and squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. Usually, they wouldn’t share more than a short hug. Dave’s pretty sure that’s literally it, actually. But emotions were high now that it was such a significant moment in all of their lives, so the touch didn’t feel awkward or out of place as it would have. He smiled warmly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Rose.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t mention it. Now, I believe I have a marriage to get to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave chuckled and nodded, holding out his arm for her to take, which she did. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, let’s get you to your soon-to-be wife.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Karkat wasn’t sure where to look when Rose was finally coming down the aisle, holding onto Dave’s arm. Both of them were smiling brightly. No one could tell where Dave was looking, but Rose had her eyes on Kanaya. Karkat was struggling between wanting to admire Rose, with her dress and makeup and overall beauty that he had always seen in her, or his boyfriend, with his literal wedding attire and looking more stunning than ever. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rose insisted that Dave hug her when they got to the front and he whispered something to her that made her giggle quietly, then he went to take his seat beside Karkat, who immediately moved to hug his arm instead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Man, I’ve just got all the bitches clinging onto me today, don’t I?” Dave grinned. Karkat smacked his arm playfully to get him to shut up before leaning more into him and resting his head against his shoulder. Dave kissed his head and they both turned to pay attention to the ceremony. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everything about it made Karkat’s heart ache in the best possible way. While admiring the decor, his mind wandered to the possible decorations for his own wedding, which he hoped to see soon. He thought about seeing Dave up under the altar while he made his way down the aisle because he </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> Dave would rather die than walk down and have all the attention on him exclusively. That was fine by him. Karkat wanted that experience more than anything. Well, anything other than actually marrying Dave.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He thought about how both of his hands would feel in Dave’s, and how the ring would slowly warm around their fingers, and how it would finally feel to kiss him as his husband rather than something less, and how it would feel to hear everyone cheering for something that has been so expected of them for far too long and something they had been dying for themselves. He thought about how happy he would be walking out from the ceremony with Dave, hand-in-hand, then heading back to their dressing room and-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kanaya and Rose had gone back to theirs and Karkat’s daydream ended. He had paid attention to the wedding of course, listened to every word of their vows, and wrote his own privately in his head, but he didn’t remember when he stood and cheered with the others.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Dave spoke up, his hand on Karkat’s lower back to get his attention. “Wanna step away for a little bit while everyone waits for them to get back?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Karkat responded, turning to face him. He reached out towards Dave’s now slightly outstretched hand, taking it and lacing their fingers. “I’m not used to being around so many people now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me neither. I love everyone, but holy shit.” They began walking away from the ceremony area, which was atop a small hill, and Dave led them towards a little river that reflected the light of the sunset. “I guess this is what we get for being hermits for years. No pun intended or anything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh-huh, yeah. Sure.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat let him lead the way. There were a few benches strewn about the edge of the river, where it had been lined with a railing and the ground before the bank replaced with a brick path. It was peaceful and quiet and they could faintly hear chatter from inside the giant cabin the rest of the wedding was taking place in. They sat down together on one of the benches, looking out at the horizon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They sat close, Karkat again hugging Dave’s arm tight and resting his head against him. Dave had his other hand in his pocket, fumbling nervously with the velvety box inside. It had been stabbing his leg all evening, so finally proposing and getting the dumb box out of his pocket was one motivator. There were a million more, of course.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They sat in comfortable silence, admiring the water as it sparkled under the darkening sky. Stars hid among hues of pink and purple and fading blues. Dave knew that it would go without saying that if he said ‘yes’, they would save the news for later to give Kanaya and Rose their special day, so it wasn’t the fact that they were at a wedding that was stopping him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was the sheer terror in his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He took a deep breath and finally pulled his arm from Karkat’s grasp, fully bringing the box from his pocket. He shifted towards the edge of the bench, ready to get to one knee when appropriate. He was definitely taking his glasses off, too. He wasn’t about to hide from him when doing something so major. His heart pounded and he wouldn’t be surprised if Karkat said that he could hear it. But he looked clueless towards Dave’s actions and turned his gaze from the river to him. Dave could see the ripples in the water reflecting in his eyes now instead and it only made his chest tighter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, I… want to ask you something.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>All of these stories are posted separately on my profile page if there's ever a specific one that catches your attention! Thank you for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Domestic Mornings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dave makes Karkat tea and snuggles him back to sleep after a night of not sleeping. Domestic fluff ensues.<br/>(Mentions of insomnia and Dave's lack of eating due to Bro's abuse. Not an eating disorder in this case, but mentions of a lack of eating.)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Oh shit, look what the cat dragged in!” Roxy grinned brightly, looking over at the now opened bedroom door that was oddly placed by the kitchen. Karkat trudged out in front of Dave, who held the door open for him like a gentleman. The gesture was simple, yet heartwarming, even though the door held itself open just fine. “Morning, lovebirds.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, shove it,” the troll muttered with a bitter exhaustion. “I need caffeine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Be nice, Kat.” Dave maneuvered around his boyfriend to get to the coffee machine, a hand on his lower back. “Sorry, Rox. He didn’t sleep last night.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Insomnia’s a bitch.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat followed him the short few steps it took to the appliance and hopped up to sit on the counter, watching through a curly mess of bedhead as Dave reached up to grab the bag of coffee from the cabinet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tea or coffee, babe?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tea. I fucking hate how strong you make coffee. You know that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just add milk and sugar, dude. It’s not hard.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat held up a middle finger, followed by a little growl. Dave simply grinned and rolled his eyes from behind his shades. Roxy chuckled a bit, watching and listening to their interactions. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Y'all are cute. When are you gonna get hitched?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When Karkat decides to stop pretending to hate me in the morning.” Dave turned to put some water on the stove for Karkat’s tea, then leaned back against the counter while hot coffee started to brew, looking across the way at Roxy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut the fuck up. I didn’t sleep. I have a pass to be an asshole right now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And why is it that you didn’t sleep?” Roxy set his book down, a small smirk growing on his face and he rested his chin in his hands. “Too preoccupied with your man?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dude, I fucking wish. Maybe </span>
  <em>
    <span>I </span>
  </em>
  <span>would’ve gotten to sleep faster myself.” Dave leaned back more for Karkat to use his shoulder as a pillow. He grumbled under his breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck you both.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I told you to take some melatonin.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It never works.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave rested his hand on the counter behind Karkat’s back. He leaned more into his touch. There would be periods of Karkat’s insomnia where he could sleep sixteen hours of the day away without issue, but every other week, he barely got any sleep, if any at all. Dave hated the way it hurt him, but could do nothing more than find ways to get him to, at the very least, lay down in their bed and relax.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sex is always an option,” Roxy said, lowering his shades briefly to wink at Karkat, who sent him a middle finger as well. “Or a hot bath.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, we’ve kinda tried everything. That first option sounds fun though, doesn’t it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hate you so much right now,” he muttered, finally looking up to meet Dave’s eyes through his sunglasses. “Go get a hairbrush, fuckwit. You look like you’ve had a family of rats living in your hair for a month.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bullshit,” he began, pulling away from Karkat to do as he asked anyways. He continued shouting from their bathroom that was on the other side of their bedroom. “It’s charmingly messy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s just fucking messy,” he muttered too quietly for Dave to hear, rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands and then running his fingers through his hair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re one to talk. You’ve got curly hair which is even worse,” Roxy piped up again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You haven’t seen Dave after a shower, have you?” Dave returned and Karkat took the brush from his grasp before he had the chance to calmly pass it to him. He then pulled Dave up a bit closer, carefully brushing through blond locks. “He straightens his hair. It’s kinda wavy right now, but if you stick his head under the sink, it’s just… it might be curlier than my hair.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“C’mon man, no one needs to know that shit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Roxy laughed and finally shut her book entirely, giving up on trying to read. Kanaya then came in at the smell of coffee and smiled a little, watching Karkat brush through Dave’s hair and attempt to style it properly despite its unstraightened state. Kind of like Dave’s personality. It suited him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I used to help Rose with brushing her hair each morning,” she spoke up, causing Karkat to stop and Dave to look over at her. He moved to step away from the brush, but she quickly shook her head. “No, Dave, let him help you. I was more thinking out loud than making it any sort of pity-party about my wife.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If it’s making you upset-” Dave began, but was immediately cut off by her again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It isn’t, I promise.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad, because Dave is shit at doing his hair anyways. Get the fuck back here, asshole.” Karkat grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him close again. The sharp movement caused him to hold his arms out for leverage, one hand on either side of Karkat on the edge of the counter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve gotta stop doing that shit. I’m not as balanced as you might think.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat growled at him to shut the fuck up again and Dave fell silent. Roxy and Kanaya giggled amongst themselves.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is there enough coffee to share, Dave?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mhm. I can always make some more, too. Sorry. Should’ve asked if y'all wanted some.”</span>
</p><p><span>“No, it’s okay. I didn’t think of having any until I smelled it from down the-”</span><span><br/></span> <span>“There! Jesus,” Karkat subconsciously interrupted, setting the hairbrush to the side. “Your hair is impossible to work with.”</span></p><p>
  <span>Dave rolled his eyes again, biting back a smile while Roxy and Kanaya giggled again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad you’re done. I gotta make our drinks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mhm.” Karkat let Dave go with a kiss on his nose, then leaned back a bit on the counter again. His head moved back to rest against the cabinet. He could hear the others all talking among themselves, but he couldn’t be bothered to respond or pipe in with anything interesting. He couldn’t remember the last time he slept and his head was beyond foggy. He couldn’t process a damn thing until a few more minutes had passed and he felt warm lips on his cheek. Kanaya and Roxy continued talking. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, your tea is all ready.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” Karkat sighed, opening his eyes again. He took his mug from Dave’s hand and took a small sip so as not to burn his tongue off. Dave, being the whore he was for coffee, was drinking like it was a glass of ice water he had been searching for for years while wandering the heat of a relentless desert. It was still steaming. The others fixed their own coffee.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to move to the couch? Or back to bed?” His voice was soft and soothing, gentle to ease his nerves and quiet enough to keep their conversation private from the others. “Now might be the time to pop some melatonin.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I want to finish my tea first. You need to go take your meds.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I took them when I went to grab the brush. But I’m almost out. I gotta ask Kan to alchemize some more.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Karkat moved his head to Dave’s shoulder again, closing his eyes and letting the warm mug heat up his hands. “Good idea.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry you’re feeling shitty, baby.” He kissed his forehead, avoiding brushing by his horns in any way. “I know it isn’t fun.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, at least now we’re even since I had to fucking nurse you back to health when we were on the meteor. You were so fucking skinny and now look at you.” He reached up blindly, successfully poking Dave’s cheek. “Chubby cheeks and healthy weight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I never realized how hard it is to eat when you don’t have the space for any fucking food.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, you never had food to </span>
  <em>
    <span>make </span>
  </em>
  <span>the space.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. Fuck Bro.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat took another sip from his tea, listening to them all converse while he finally started to feel like he could doze off then and there. He finished his tea as quickly as he could, then set the mug down and finally relaxed completely against Dave, who felt the weight shift from the counter to him and put his free arm around his waist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He looks like he’s gonna topple over and just pass out on the floor any second now,” Roxy observed, frowning slightly. “Poor dude.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’ve got him. No trolls on the floor today.” Dave looked down at him as he started to slowly fade for the first time in at least a day and a half. “I should get him back into bed. He’s not gonna last long. You guys cool if I go lay down with him for a while?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your Adderall will make you quite wide awake, Dave. Is it best for you to go back to bed as well?” Kanaya tilted her head and he shook his in response.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah, I usually don’t sleep when he naps. I just play on my phone until he wakes up. He won’t sleep at all if I’m not there. It’s a safety thing, I guess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aww, aren’t you two just so sweet?” Roxy was both sarcastic and genuine at the same time. Dave huffed a little laugh and turned, holding Karkat up until he could hook one arm under his knees and lift him up off the counter, holding him securely. He mumbled incoherently and moved his head to his chest for support. Dave again bit back a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll see you guys later in the afternoon, alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sounds good. Make sure he’s actually conscious when he wakes up. It’s movie night.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Will do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With that, Dave took Karkat back into the bedroom, nudging the door shut behind them as quietly as he possibly could.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Davekat's First Sleepover</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dave and Karkat have their first sleepover. (It's basically just them making out in bed and being funny.)<br/>Mild smut</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Cool room,” Dave mumbled to distract Karkat from the embarrassing conversation his dad had subjected them to in the car on the way from school. “Kind of reminds me of John’s room.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, God,” Karkat groaned. “Not him. How?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Movie posters. You’re both so dorky.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave dropped his backpack at the end of Karkat’s bed and sat himself down at the edge of it, his head turning to look around at the place. Karkat joined him with a soft sigh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry about my dad. He said he would let you spend the night on the condition that we’re ‘just friends’ because he knows that I’m completely in love with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aw, do you talk about me that much, Kat?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He punched Dave in the arm and he laughed, rubbing the ache.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave didn’t mind the conversation in the car as much as Karkat did. It was nice to be a part of something that he didn’t have to keep his guard up for. In fact, the most embarrassing part of it all was the fact that they had been forced to beg their guardians to spend the night as Dave had just turned eighteen and Karkat would be nineteen in less than six months. Dave was already looking to get a place of his own but was having a bit of trouble finding the time or the safety in his own home to do so. The second Dave got his own apartment, he would spend every second of his days begging his boyfriend to move in with him. They had been dating in secret from their parents for over a year now, so they knew exactly what they wanted outside of their homes. Especially Dave.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hang on, let me lock the door.” Karkat stood to do as he suggested, leaving Dave to grin up at him, leaning back on his arms a bit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lock the door? Shit babe, you might as well shove your hand in my pants while you’re at it. Is that what you’re going to do? Shit, is that your plan?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jesus fucking Christ, Strider. No,” he muttered with a glare, a blush rising on his cheeks. “No, for fuck’s sake. I just don’t want my family barging in. Kankri is more of a talkative fucker than you and my dad doesn’t ever knock. I always lock my door when I’m in here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you don’t want them walking in when my dick is in you, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want them walking in and taking away from the private time we have. Not everything revolves around sex, dipshit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bro, don’t pull that card on me.” Dave pulled one hand off the bed, doing that weird hand-twirl gesture as he talked. Karkat used to hate it. He found it endearing and kind of charming now. Who was he kidding, everything about Dave was charming. “Ninety percent of your favorite romcoms are purely revolved around sex.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He began to go through a mental list he had of all the movies Karkat had seen that supposedly fell under this category and he watched him speak for a solid minute with his hands on his hips before rolling his eyes and making his way back to the bed. Rather than taking his place at Dave’s side again, he grabbed his favorite seat: his lap. But straddling his thighs made no difference and Dave didn’t even falter. He simply allowed both hands to come up off the bed to grab Karkat’s hips and hold him still as he kept going down the list. Karkat found himself slightly surprised that he could remember that many movie titles right off the top of his head but he still needed him to text him every morning before they left for school so he wouldn’t forget to take his Adderall. He tended to forget regardless. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dave.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean, Karkat, I could keep going, but-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Dave.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think you see my point. That’s the thing with people, bro. They-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Davey. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Babe</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“-all focus on sex. Sometimes, the plot is based on the two main characters </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>being able to have sex, and that’s what gets the audience’s attention. So-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him in roughly, his lips meeting still moving ones. It shut Dave up and he kissed back gently. Karkat felt his hands tighten on his hips, tugging him a little closer after a moment. He then pulled away for air after a while, looking down at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“... You did that to shut me up, didn’t you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I said your name three times and even called you by a pet name and you </span>
  <em>
    <span>still </span>
  </em>
  <span>didn’t respond.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, what? You called me a pet name? Do it again, you never do that!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What if I just made out with you until my dad calls us for dinner instead?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave pretended to consider it, but they both knew full well the answer was a very enthusiastic </span>
  <em>
    <span>yes!</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe I could finish my thought and then we could-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my God, shut the hell up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat pulled him in again and Dave wasted absolutely zero time, sighing into it and pushing himself up more to be closer. His hands moved slightly to hook his fingers on Karkat’s belt loops and yank him much closer on his lap, the friction waking him up a little bit. He kept a stoic expression.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat reached up to tug his shades off his head, setting them to the side gently. He was able to tilt his head and deepen the kiss, his tongue poking out to fight Dave’s. They both let out a very soft sound, their hearts jumping with excitement. Even after a year and eight months, this never got old.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lay back,” Karkat breathed, breaking apart from nibbling on his bottom lip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm? What are you planning on doing to me, Vantas?” Dave did as he said though, allowing his hands to move down to his thighs instead. Karkat followed Dave a bit, hovering over him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not anything interesting, unfortunately. Not with Kankri on the other side of this wall and my dad twenty feet away in the kitchen.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And yet you’ll blow me in the bathroom during lunch? That’s like, the riskiest shit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dave! I told you not to ever mention that ever again!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know why you insist I stay hush-hush about it with you. You did fucking great.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Liar. The first time is always bad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Apparently not.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat growled a little and sat up again, crossing his arms. He didn’t take his eyes away from Dave’s, which were definitely encouraging him more to do more than he should more so than anything he was saying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For the record,” Dave then held a finger up matter-of-factly. “I genuinely do not give a shit. Choking me with your tongue is just as pleasant to me as anything else you could possibly do to me. Or make me do. Hey Karkat, have I hinted enough to you that I fucking love when you’re forceful? It’s hot.”</span>
</p><p><span>“Yes, Dave. You’ve told me this. Many times.”</span><span><br/></span> <span>“I like when you tell me to shut up all angry and pissed off. Makes my dick jump.”</span></p><p>
  <span>“Dave.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t take your meds, did you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. No, I did not.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can tell.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you just get back down here and keep kissing me? Please?” Dave’s tone switched to more of a whine and he attempted to pull Karkat up to sit somewhere much more pleasing on his body. “My lips are cold over here. Freezing like they’ve just been stranded in the cold, cruel Arctic to fend for themselves. Like-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave was shut up once more by warm, inviting lips that still had the slightest taste of cherry chapstick from earlier. Karkat hated the taste of cherries, but Dave had made a comment about how, for whatever reason, he associated him with cherries. Maybe it was the fact that he wore a fruity perfume rather than some kind of cologne like he did. It did smell a bit like cherries, he had to admit. Karkat indulged him since he seemed to love it so much. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave’s hands trailed up under his sweater, feeling up the soft skin that he loved to mark up whenever he got the chance. Karkat was completely in love with the feeling of Dave’s hands and eventually was rolling his hips against his, grinding hard into his lap. That drew soft moans and sounds of pleasure from both of them and Dave so desperately was wanting more. He could feel that Karkat was in a similar situation and was trying hard to hold back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then there was a knock on the door after the rattling of the doorknob.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Boys,” Karkat’s dad’s much deeper voice came out muffled from behind the door. “Dinner will be ready in ten minutes. Karkat, I asked you to keep the door unlocked.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You ask me to keep the door unlocked all the time. I lock it for privacy. I’m not unlocking it.” Karkat had reluctantly pulled away from Dave’s lips, but that didn’t stop him from leaning up and trailing kisses down his neck and sucking hard on the soft, sweet skin. Karkat’s hand tangled in his hair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His dad walked away without another word and Karkat let out a breathy moan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Careful,” he whispered. “We have to go out there in ten. I don’t want to have to explain why there’s a trail of hickeys on my neck.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ten minutes…” Dave hummed in thought. Without Karkat realizing, he had already undone the button and zipper on his jeans, as well as on his own. “Think you can be quiet?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but ten minutes? Is that enough time?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ve been able to do it in six at the theater one time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“True…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave didn’t stop biting his neck and the curve of his shoulder, pulling down his sleeve to access it. Karkat finally gave in to the chills running down his spine and the tightness of his jeans.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine, oh God, just fuck me…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave grinned and reached over blindly into his backpack for the only thing they would need.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“With pleasure.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chewing Ice</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dave finishes what’s in his water bottle and Karkat finds himself enthralled with the noise for inexplicable reasons. Domestic cuddles ensues.</p><p>Based on when I was talking to my mom about my sister’s chewing and how I can’t handle it but how she loves laying her head on top of my sister’s to listen to her when she chews on ice. I like the sound of chewing on ice myself and don’t mind it so much with other people, but I can’t stand anything else.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Dave’s water bottle came up empty after an annoying slurping sound that sent a pang of rage through Karkat’s nerves and made him growl. The only recognition of it was a low chuckle from Dave as he worked on unscrewing the lid of the bottle, setting it on the armrest of the couch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re so sensitive,” he said, glancing over towards his boyfriend, which was a fairly new development. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t have that much of a fucking problem if we weren’t in the middle of watching your stupid movie,” Karkat growled back, glaring sharply. He was sat with his knees brought to his chest, back against the armrest, while Dave was on the other end, one leg crossed over his knee. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you’re into the movie then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up. Bruce Willis is back on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jesus Christ, you and John are going to get along great.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat chose to ignore the comment with a roll of his eyes before turning back to the husktop screen that was on the coffee table, not all that far away from where they were sitting. He managed to stifle another growl as there was the metal </span>
  <em>
    <span>clang </span>
  </em>
  <span>of ice moving in Dave’s water bottle, but his ears perked up a little when he heard him chewing on it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Any chewing noises were annoying, whether it was from Dave or literally anybody else on the meteor. That was a universal concept and in Dave’s case, he couldn’t stay in the room if someone’s chewing (other than his own) was too loud or he’d have a meltdown. Sometimes even his own got to be too much and Karkat would have to make him a smoothie or something so he wouldn’t go the entire day without eating. The concept was alien to Karkat but he did his best to help him through any of those panicky moments as Rose had been able to gently explain that it was a result of his ADHD. However, hearing Dave chew on slightly softened ice was kind of nice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat’s voice came off a little sharper than intended. It didn’t offend Dave in any way but it showed as an incorrect indicator that he hated the noise. The soft crunching that was occasionally hardened by a less melted piece was calming in a way in the same way he liked the sound of high heels meeting concrete flooring. Dave turned his head to look at Karkat again and he set his bottle down on the couch briefly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, too loud?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, it’s actually… kind of a nice sound. Who the fuck eats ice though?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh man,” Dave smiled a bit and Karkat’s heart jumped at the sight. “You don’t eat ice? Shit’s so satisfying to chew on, especially when it’s a little bit softer.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Doesn’t it hurt your teeth?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not really. My molars aren’t sensitive to cold things like my front teeth are.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat hummed thoughtfully and they both returned to the movie. He listened as his lover continued on with eating what was left in his water bottle as he now had confirmation that it was okay to do so. The sound should’ve made him cringe and make his blood boil but he just found it to be oddly comforting. He didn’t mind it at all and if anything, he wanted to hear it a little closer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He then let his legs fall down to the couch, his toes nudging against Dave’s thigh and capturing his attention once more. Karkat then held out his arms, making a grabby motion with his hands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come over here. Bring your ice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave would’ve questioned his clingy nature if they had been dating in secret, but nothing was new to anyone else on the meteor. Besides, everybody was off doing their own thing, most of them sleeping. Without hesitation, he shifted, making sure he wasn’t going to tangle himself up in his cape as he snuggled up between Karkat’s legs, laying on his side with one arm loosely underneath him and holding onto his shirt. His head came to rest on his chest, listening to the slower beating of his heart and noticing when it spiked as he sighed with content. Karkat’s fingers came up, running through his hair gently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Closer.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Dave looked up at him and Karkat pulled off his shades with a little smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come closer so your head is further up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is this some strange kink of yours, Kat?” He did as he was told however, his head then coming to tuck right up under his chin. “You into having me all pressed against you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean, in the proper setting…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my God.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They both snickered quietly and enjoyed a little moment of the movie before Dave brought his bottle to his lips, tipping it to let more ice fall to his tongue. Karkat played with his hair as he chewed at a closer vicinity. The sound was even more calming up close and he couldn’t understand why, but he wasn’t about to reject it just because he couldn’t fathom why such a typically annoying sound was so soothing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He then got the idea to rest his head against the top of his head, ear flush against his hair. There was a brief pause as Dave wondered if he should continue chewing something so loudly with Karkat so close to the sound but he then decided that if Karkat wanted to pull away, he would, so he carried on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat loved it instantly. It was like the sound got clearer and more refined, echoing through his lover who was warm and comforting snuggled up into his body. He had always known a proper matepritship, something he hadn’t experienced on Alternia, would make him feel nice. He never thought it would make him feel so blissed the fuck out that he would want to listen to his partner </span>
  <em>
    <span>chewing</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Granted, it was a special scenario with this specific object, but regardless. It was a feeling he never wanted to end. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A soft purr began to emanate from the back of his throat, something he had never been able to find control over when he was pleased with something. Dave had heard it before but it still surprised him when he heard it again. His lips curled into a grin as he felt the little rumble against his head. He always found the vibrations relaxing and calming during the nights when they decided to share the bed and when he asked about it, Karkat explained through embarrassed stutters that not all trolls could do it, but those who could were unable to control it and it was essentially able to for the sole purpose of calming their quadrant partners. It worked like a charm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave was pleased as well, his senses satisfied with chewing on something that crumbled so easily and melted away while feeling the warmth radiate off of his favorite living being, who still had his fingers in his hair and could feel him breathing and purring softly. Dave found it even more comforting that Karkat didn’t find him annoying in this particular moment. He felt safe in his arms and he didn’t plan on moving until Karkat did find himself becoming aggravated with the noise, which didn’t seem to be anytime soon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave reached with his free arm, shifting briefly to pull his cape over the two of them, increasing the warmth between them. They still paid close attention to the movie while enjoying the feeling of having each other so close. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Dave finally ran out of ice and reached down to let the bottle sit on the floor, Karkat whined a little. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want me to get you more?” Karkat sounded almost hopeful and Dave resisted the urge to tease him for it. His purring paused when he spoke but remained when he stopped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I already really have to pee now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ice is water, dude. It’ll make me have to go a lot sooner.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you need to get up then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave took a moment, considering the choice. Karkat’s hand was still in his hair, his other arm draped across his waist underneath the cape that covered them both up. The room was dark save for the screen, they were alone, they were comfortable, and they were warm, heated up by the love of their bodies snuggled securely against each other. He then let out a soft sigh, closing his eyes and tucking his head a little more under Karkat’s chin, placing a gentle, loving kiss on his jaw and allowing the deep purring that rose from his chest to the back of his throat to lull him to a much more comforting state.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. I’ll go later. I’m perfectly okay right here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. The Gay Awakening pt. 1: Your name is Dave Strider, and you are in love with your best friend.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dave realizes through a series of commands that there is a possibility that he is gay for Karkat.</p>
<p>(I don't normally write second-person stories, so I hope you all enjoy it!)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>&gt;Dave, proceed to have your gay awakening.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You are unsure of what exactly this means. You are not gay and you have never even considered it in the past. This is an absurd request and you will forget about it in only a few minutes of time as your ADHD medication has worn off for the day.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You have allowed Karkat to pick from your collection of movies, making it clear that you were not about to sit through another one of his troll movies in which you were completely unable to make the proper quips that you wanted to due to your cultural differences. As he looks through your movie library that resides in the files of your laptop, he asks about the plot of each movie with curiosity.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>12 Monkeys</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Bruce Willis goes back in time to stop a virus. He meets a woman who helps him and they fall in love,” you say, sitting back against the headboard of the bed in the cool-guy position with your back hunched over and one leg crossed over the other. Your phone is in your right hand, the screen glowing in the dim light of the room, but you won’t look at it. You’re watching as Karkat sits on the floor in front of you with his legs crossed securely, two fingers swiping down slowly on the touchpad. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You two have chosen to hole up in your bedroom for this movie night as the common room had been occupied by your sister and her girlfriend for their own movie night and you two had no desire to intrude on their little love-fest. While you resent the idea of having another man in your bed, you didn’t mind letting Karkat in. He was your best bro after all, especially with John not being there. He was no replacement, of course, but if John were present, it would make for a three-person movie date.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Movie night. You mean movie night.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sounds lame, except for that last part,” he mutters and your brain barely registers what he says as you shrug even though you know he can’t see you from the angle you two are sitting in. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Sixteen Candles</span>
  </em>
  <span>? What’s that about?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Honestly, I’ve never watched it. Rose swears by it, though. It’s some weird love triangle thing, I think.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What about </span>
  <em>
    <span>The Breakfast Club</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You perk up a little then, moving your phone to the bedside table as your lips turn up into a grin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh man,” you say, excitement rising in your tone. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>The Breakfast Club </span>
  </em>
  <span>is a fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>classic</span>
  </em>
  <span>. These kids all get sent to detention in their school for doing various bad shit and they all hate each other normally, but they spend the day together and they basically all become best friends and a few of them even end up getting romantically involved. You’ll love it, bro.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What the hell is a ‘detention’?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You forget that he did not live on Earth for a moment as confusion briefly floods your brain at the idea of not knowing what detention was. Instead, you give a light chuckle and give him the best definition your brain can muster. He seems to understand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Frankly, Strider, all of your movies are terrible, but that last one doesn’t seem so bad.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I am so down for that. It’s hilarious and knowing you, you’ll probably cry.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I will not! Who the hell do you take me for?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His red eyes, a similar shade to your own, meet yours through your sunglasses. You feel your heart jump in your chest and you push the feeling down to ignore it. You chalk it up to the same anxiety you feel when you see your own eyes in the mirror each morning while taking your medication or brushing your teeth (when you can remember to do so as depression hit you hard and you often can’t find the motivation to drag yourself out of bed to go to Can Town). You know it definitely isn’t the same but for once, you’re happy your medication has worn off so you can forget about it. Karkat gets up off the floor, handing you the laptop before getting on the bed next to you. Your shoulders brush together and you place the laptop on your thighs, turning it slightly to the side to give him a good view of the screen.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>&gt;Dave, have a movie night with your best friend.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You and Karkat talk quietly during the movie but you noticed that he wasn’t saying anything sarcastic or negative. You know very well that even if you like the movie, he will make comments about it, but he wasn't, which means he likes the movie, too. The thought made your chest flutter with happiness and the smile grew more on your cheeks. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You mainly were answering questions that he had, such as what a principal was and why these kids had gotten in trouble for the things they did rather than getting rewarded. You tell him that Alternia was a strange place. He agrees with you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nearing the end of the movie, when everyone was leaving their school, you look over and see pink, translucent tears brimming his eyes and you hold back a laugh. It wasn’t hard to do as every time he cried at a movie, you found yourself fixated on the pigment of both his eyes and his tears. It amazed you how color-coded trolls were compared to humans, and not just with their natural instinct of being drawn to items of their blood color, an instinct Karkat lacked due to his mutation. You stare longer than you mean to and you don’t notice when he turns his head to meet your gaze.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, fuck off, Strider,” he growls, voice shaking slightly. You continue to watch as he reaches up, wiping away his tears with the sleeve of his oversized sweater. You always loved his large sweaters and cozy figure. “Don’t you say a damn word.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I wasn’t planning on it,” you say, a very small smile tugging at the corners of your lips. He notices and says nothing, once again turning to look at the laptop screen to read the credits. You never understood why he liked going through the credits so much but he insisted that he liked to acknowledge the effort put into the film and be able to recognize the names of actors if they ever came up again. They often did. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t want to go back to my respitblock yet,” he then says as his tears have dried, but his cheeks remain a little red. You know he must’ve felt you continuing to stare so you finally avert your gaze, closing the window and returning to your files full of movies. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wanna watch another movie then?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” he mumbles and you suddenly feel a small weight rest upon the edge of your shoulder. You don’t need to look to know what it is, but you do anyway.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Karkat had tilted a bit so his head could rest on you, a mess of black curls falling across your red shirt. You notice how peaceful he looks just waiting for you to click on another movie, giving you the choice this time. You decide to go with something with music to keep his spirits up and while you have </span>
  <em>
    <span>Grease </span>
  </em>
  <span>in mind, you keep your eyes on him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t say a thing,” he mutters as though he were reading your mind. “Just start another movie.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If you’re gonna fall asleep on me, you should go back to your room. Aren’t trolls supposed to sleep in slime anyway? For, like, health reasons? How can you sleep in slime? Blankets are warm and soft and </span>
  <em>
    <span>dry</span>
  </em>
  <span> and it doesn’t make any sense.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You begin to ramble with the same pace of your heart, which was completely out of control for reasons you refused to confront. Karkat was the one to stop you, reaching up blindly to place a couple of fingers on your lips. Your thoughts went to a far dirtier place then and those you were much quicker to push away than the more innocent thoughts. You’re a teenager. Those thoughts and ideas aren’t new to you, but you didn’t need them plaguing your mind at this moment. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can nap outside of sopor just fine and I’m not answering all of those questions,” he mumbles, fingers still on your lips. Troll skin was thick, but it felt surprisingly soft. Maybe your lips are just chapped, you think. “I’m not going to fall asleep on you. Just play another fucking movie and shut the hell up.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You decide to obey his commands as he removes his hand from your mouth. You do your best to ignore the fluttering in your body and find </span>
  <em>
    <span>Grease</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It was one of the very first human movies you introduced to Karkat and you knew that he liked it. You didn’t have the energy for a movie you haven't yet watched with him. While he was insistent he wouldn’t fall asleep, you weren’t so sure you would manage to stay awake.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He settled in a little more beside you, melting into your side. You decide to let it all play out. It was making you feel good and you knew that no one would come into your room without warning or permission. Your arm comes up behind him, resting on the curve of his waist. You have held him in the past, but it had never been quite this gentle and intimate. It had often been in a battle of strength when you lifted him up over your shoulder before tossing him onto the couch with ease. He would complain when you would levitate just out of his reach for him to do the same to you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Karkat leans up briefly, grabbing your cape that had been thrown onto the foot of the bed earlier. He then pulls it up onto himself, all the way to his shoulders so he was completely engulfed in it. You have never understood his obsession with your cape. It wasn’t exactly the warmest material, but he seemed to like curling up in it nonetheless. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Maybe his color instinct was there after all and he was drawn to it because of its shade. You decide that that’s something to consider at another time, when you’re not cuddling your best friend and wondering if you really are gay.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>&gt;Dave, proceed to have your gay awakening already!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You still don’t know what this means, but you hear soft, slow purring from your shoulder twenty minutes into the movie and you find yourself too distracted by that to continue thinking about the command in your head. You look down at the now sleeping troll boy who had his head on your shoulder. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You are very lucky, you think, to have a troll friend whose horns can’t stab you and draw blood. They can be uncomfortable if pressed against you too sharply, sure, but they can’t kill you accidentally and you feel very fortunate for it. You are able to notice, even in the dim lighting, that his cheeks are dusted pink and his lashes are long and dark. Curls fall down over his forehead and before you can stop yourself, you’re reaching up, brushing them from his forehead. His hair is soft. You love it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Your eyes move past his closed eyes and peaceful expression down to his cheeks and eventually to his slightly parted lips. He had changed a lot since you had been stuck on the meteor together, and he had finally grown into his teeth so that they didn’t stick out so much, but that was to be expected. You were all nearing the end of your trip and had begun when you were all in the very beginning stages of adolescence. You had watched yourself in the mirror each day, noting how your jawline became more prominent and your shoulders had gotten a bit more broad. They made it easy to transport the Mayor wherever he wanted to go and you were always more than happy to let him sit upon your shoulders. Overall, everyone had gotten more attractive over time. Especially Karkat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You don’t bother attempting to dispose of that thought when it went through your head. It was a fact. Everyone knew it. And staring down at those slightly parted lips as he sleeps soundly against you, only the light of the laptop screen illuminating his features, you find yourself to be okay with the situation. You find yourself wanting to confront your feelings towards him a little more.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Okay, you might be a little bit gay. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Internalized homophobia from your life with your Bro is prominent in your mind but as you think a little bit longer and harder about the concept, it doesn’t disgust you. To put it to the test, you imagine yourself kissing a boy. Your heart drops with anxiety before it flutters again with a form of excitement as you picture kissing Karkat instead. You wish you had a hold on your very obvious feelings towards the boy under your arm, but even you know you can’t control your emotions. You wonder if he feels the same and with him so happily and peacefully sleeping against you, your cape draped over his body and a soft purr emanating from deep within his chest and throat, you think he does. Your eyes land right back down onto his lips. You think that you might love him more than you care to admit. You think you might want to have movie dates rather than movie nights. You think you might want to kiss him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>&gt;Dave, kiss the troll boy.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. The Gay Awakening pt. 2: Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you are in love with your best friend.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A PART 2 I DIDN’T EXPECT TO WRITE<br/>The song for this is I’m Not In Love by 10CC from 1975. This sets the tone for the chapter so here is a link if you all want to listen to it: https://youtu.be/OtBHfxU2wmc</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>&gt;Karkat, dream of your red crush.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You choose to obey this command as it comes incredibly easy to you, almost without thinking. You have been hiding your flushed feelings towards your best friend ever since you two started getting along and the closer you two get makes it harder to control yourself. You find yourself staring at him far more now and the time he finally revealed his eye color to you was when you knew you were hopelessly in love with him. You were long gone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You dream of him with ease, not needing a second command to do so. You dream of falling asleep on his shoulder, curling into his side like you are sometimes able to do in the real world, and you dream of kissing him. You yearn to feel his lips against yours and as your emotions towards him grow with each passing day, your hope for such an event happening fades with it. Your dreams and the dream bubbles you pass through in private are your time away and, what a coincidence, you just so happen to be passing through another dream bubble now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You find yourself in the middle of someone’s hive and when you catch a glimpse of a very prominent puppet ass peeking over the edge of a futon, you know exactly where you are. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This is Dave’s old hive.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You explore a little, feeling as though you’re invading something very personal and very private that you most certainly should leave, but waking up could be a process in bubbles so you choose to simply learn a little more about the boy you love so much and decide that this is your chance to find a way to help him through his various mental problems, along with some of his physical problems. His chronic back pains are still a mystery to you and all you know is that it emerged from his childhood. You are left unsure of exactly how it came about but you feel like it’s more important than he’s letting on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You look through the kitchen a bit, noting the swords and rotting food that filled the sink. You are grateful for your slightly numbed senses so you are unable to smell it but you cover your nose anyway. You regrettably press the ice lever on the fridge and watch small fireworks roll out and past your feet. You flinch instinctively, having heard the loud noises they can make that remind you of your life on Alternia. When no noise echoes through the small hive, you relax and carry on with your adventure.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You come to a door with an old, unlabeled record pinned to the outside of it. While it’s closed, you know that this is Dave’s old respitblock. You wonder why he would ruin a perfectly good record, as he is very protective over them all and was quite devastated when he had to leave Earth and his collection behind, but you soon come to the conclusion that it must’ve been a fake or a broken one.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>&gt;Karkat, intrude on your best friend’s respitblock.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You don’t waste much time in opening the door and you’re both glad and pissed that you do. Sitting on the bed, a record player in front of him and his headphones plugged in and over his ears, is Dave. Of course, you instantly think that this is your Dave until you remember that you’re in a dream bubble and it was highly likely this was a different one. You step into the room and close the door behind you. Sensing that someone had come in, his head perks up and his gaze meets you. He smiles a bit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, hey, Karkat.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shit, you actually know me?” Your eyes widen with mild surprise. Most of the Daves you had run into in the past weren’t aware of your identity. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, of course,” he says, bringing his headphones down to hang around his neck. “You and I were pretty close in my timeline.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So… you have a different Karkat then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nods, patting the bed beside him. You don’t hesitate in going over to join him and you feel him scoot closer to touch you. You can only imagine how cold the afterlife must be, especially in a place he had expressed great terror towards, and you also can only imagine how warm you must feel to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, my Karkat died a long time ago. I haven’t seen him since. Well, we never met in person. We messaged each other pretty much every single day until you kind of… stopped responding and I found out through one of your friends.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, that’s… sad,” you say truthfully, a small frown forming on your cheeks. “I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It happens. I’m not the only Dave that it happened to, so I guess I can’t complain.” He gives a little shrug, one you know all too well. It’s a shrug that he uses to dismiss his feelings to seem like nothing when, in reality, it’s usually something that has been eating away at him for a long period of time. “But hey, new topic. You’re alive.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I am.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is your Dave still alive?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He is,” you say with a nod. “Him and I were watching a movie before I guess I fell asleep. He’s probably going to throw a fit when I wake up, though. We were watching movies in his bed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think he’ll freak out too bad in all honesty.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah? And why’s that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I probably shouldn’t say,” he chuckles a little. You expect a blush to rise on his cheeks from his slightly nervous tone until you remember that the Dave you’re currently speaking to is actually dead and has no blood to rise up and give him that blush. He’s more pale than you’re used to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well now I’m curious.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It isn’t my place to speak for a Dave that isn’t me. I don’t want it changing the way you feel towards your Dave, y’know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then… why wouldn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>freak out specifically?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hesitates for a moment and you know that he’s trying to choose his words carefully. You recognize his expression and you start to notice how you know more about your Dave than you originally thought. You know his speaking patterns, his nervous habits, when he’s going to break down, and the last one surprises you. He doesn’t melt down enough for you to know about it as well as you do, but you choose to think that maybe you just pay more attention when he’s acting strange. You truly are infatuated with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I always really liked you,” he finally says, looking down at the record that’s still turning on the player. You can faintly hear an old 70’s song playing, one that you recognize from your Dave’s albums that he played often when you are around. “I never said it when we were alive, but I really liked you a lot more than I let on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” You speak a little slower, one eyebrow raising as you meet his eyes again. He gives you a shy smile before continuing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I realized why I felt the way I did towards you after you died in my timeline. I always got so overly excited when you messaged me and I would save some of the pictures you sent me of yourself. My sister tried to tell me why I was so fixated on you but she psychoanalyzes everything, so I never paid any attention, but she was right.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m still not fully understanding, Dave. What does all of that even mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was in love with you, dipshit.” He laughs and you swear to whatever deities live in the afterlife that your heart has stopped beating entirely. For once, you feel like you have a chance. Not with this dead Dave, but with your Dave. If one Dave can be in love with you, what’s stopping yours? There is a fighting chance for you and you are already getting ahead of yourself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You… really were?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, God, yeah,” he says with a bit of a dreamy tone. You recognize that tone, too, though you can’t quite place when he had sounded like that in the past. “I was so hopelessly in love with you. I never got to tell you and that seemed like a good thing at first because I thought you’d be grossed out. Your friend messaged me later though, a long time after you died, and she told me that you had felt the same way about me. I think that hurt even more, honestly.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You feel tears beginning to rise in the back of your throat. You hate the idea of having to live a life like that, in hiding constantly until you die, only to find out what you could’ve had the entire time. He sees the pink tears lining your eyes and you faintly feel an arm come around your shoulders to pull you into his side. You oblige, following through with the action until you’re flush against him, your head on his shoulder. You can barely feel him, but he’s there, and you allow your eyes to close to stop the tears from falling. His fingers move to your hair and you can feel him playing with it more than anything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” he says and you hear a shake in his voice. You know he’s crying, too. “I know that shit’s hard to hear.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m so fucking in love with you, Dave,” you breathe so he won’t hear your voice tremble with the sobs you’re making a poor attempt at pushing back down. “I hate it so fucking much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just tell him, okay? I’m sure he’ll feel the same. Any of the Daves I’ve met who knew their Karkats were just as head-over-heels in love with you as I was and I doubt your Dave will be any different.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You give a short nod, knowing well that if you attempt to speak again, you will break into a million little pieces. You then feel a little kiss on your forehead and you lean more into him. You don’t want to leave because while this isn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>your </span>
  </em>
  <span>Dave, it’s Dave nonetheless and you want to help him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>&gt;Karkat, there is nothing you can do for him. Go home.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You know, but you still don’t want to leave. It’s as though this Dave can hear the commands you’re ignoring because he gently and shakily tells you that it’s best for you to wake up before the two of you get too comfortable. You, again, can only nod.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You allow him to put his headphones on your head, covering your ears and avoiding your horns. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m Not In Love </span>
  </em>
  <span>is restarted to the very beginning to soothe you, easing you into wakefulness. You want to make fun of him for his choice, knowing it’s for the irony, but the song is slow and soft and gentle and it makes you want to cry more for him. You lean further into him and before you know it, you’re awake in Dave’s respitblock, your head now resting in something more sturdy and your cheeks being cupped by something warm and soft and-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>&gt;Karkat, come to terms with what is currently happening.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You can’t.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave is kissing you. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Your </span>
  </em>
  <span>Dave is kissing you and you’ve never kissed anyone before. You remain unsure of what compelled him to kiss you like this while you had been unconscious, but before you can find it within you to get angry, the pleasure and happy buzz it brings to your chest takes over and you find yourself trying not to smile. You are quick to grab the collar of his shirt as you kiss back, knowing full well that he’s going to jerk away in surprise when he feels you move with him, which he does. When he realizes that you aren’t angry and that you’re, in fact, holding him in place for more, he relaxes into you again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The warmth of his lips and the eventual, gentle swipe of his tongue is more than gratifying and while you don’t want to say that it was worth the wait because it had been so long and tedious, it kind of was worth the wait. He’s halfway hovering over you and there is absolutely no where else you would rather be.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You do eventually let go of him to give him the chance to collect himself and to breathe again and he looks down at you with disbelief and love in his eyes while also clouded over with pleasure. He had gone so far as to take off his shades to kiss you, which you appreciate. You want to see him properly after something like that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m… sorry,” he breathes, never taking his eyes away from yours. “I don’t know why I just… I should’ve asked for permission or something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You’re shaking your head before he can finish his sentence, smiling more. You can’t help it. Your dreams are coming true right fucking now and you can’t hold back your pure joy. You cannot wait to tell Kanaya later, but for now, Dave is here in front of you, one of his hands at the nape of your neck and the other on your waist, and you have far more important matters to attend to, like kissing those lips you find yourself missing the very second they separate from yours.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be sorry,” you say, your own hands moving down to comfortably rest on his chest. You can feel his heart through his shirt and you know this is all true when you feel how fast it’s racing against your palm. You’re surprised that you can cause such a reaction within him and it makes you incredibly proud. “I… was going to tell you that I… Uh…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” he says to relieve you of needing to explain yourself. “Well, I didn’t, but now I do and that’s a major fucking weight off my shoulders. I mean, God, I’ve been so fucking into you for so long and-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dave?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As much as I like hearing you ramble about how much you like me,” you say, a little more cocky even though it is all true, even from Dave’s end. “I’d really like to continue kissing you now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” he breathes with relief. “Me fucking too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He leans down to take your lips in his again and you reciprocate immediately, both of you smiling against the other’s lips as the weight of the world is lifted off of your shoulders.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>&gt;Karkat, kiss the human boy.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Drunk Endeavors with Strider and Lalonde</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dave joins Rose in her drunken endeavors. While they bond, he spills his feelings about Karkat. Dave and Karkat retreat to the bedroom to try to work things out.<br/>(Warning: Mild emetophobia)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“An’ I just like… don’ taste it no more! Like, my taste buddies got all happy with me, ya know? So like- Oh heyyy, Dave!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>My eyes looked up from my faintly glowing phone screen where I had been texting Karkat while hardly paying attention to Rose’s drunken rambling to her very tired-looking girlfriend. I gave her a nod of recognition before turning back down to look at the new text on my screen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>CG: NOOKWHIFF.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CG: MOIRALLEGIANCE ISN’T A DIFFICULT CONCEPT TO UNDERSTAND BUT,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CG: CLEARLY IF YOU CAN’T,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CG: THEN IT ISN’T FOR US.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It made me frown and I couldn’t hide it. I simply sat myself down on the couch across from the two of them, though Rose was on the floor with her legs crossed while Kanaya was on the lazy chair, her face still planted firmly in her hand as my sister ceased her incoherent speech for a moment to analyze me. Even through her intoxicated haze, she could still somehow read me like a book.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Problems with the buh… boyfree… boyfriend?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How much have you had to drink?” I tried to ignore her comment on him being my boyfriend. Sure, I wanted that, but he had put me into the friend quadrant. Nothing more. I was coming to terms with that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dunno,” she slurred, taking another large swig from her mug. “Enough, I guess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Clearly. Also, he isn’t my boyfriend. That’s never happening.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Awww,” she cooed sadly, reaching up from the floor to blindly pat my cheek. I ducked out of the way of her touch and she missed by a long shot. “Don’ say that, Dave. He loves ya.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to talk about it. Why haven’t you stopped her?” I looked to Kanaya, who still had her face buried in the palm of her hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I made an attempt to, Dave,” she said, never once looking up. She could hardly stand the sight of her girlfriend in such a state, not because it made her uncomfortable, but because she could no longer read her emotions and pinpoint who exactly she was in that moment in time. “However, she refuses to listen and continues to make more drinks. She seems happy, so I eventually decided it might be best if I simply left her alone and allowed the consequences of tomorrow morning to hopefully teach her to cease this behavior.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When has that ever worked?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can keep my drinks down better than anybody on this meteor!” She giggled drunkenly, spilling a little bit of vodka or whatever fucking drink she had in her mug. My phone vibrated again and I glanced down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>CG: DAVE?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CG: YOU THERE?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: yeah</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: sorry</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: trying to process</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CG: WITH YOUR LACK OF BASIC UNDERSTANDING OF THIS QUADRANT IN PARTICULAR, I FIND IT HARD TO BELIEVE THAT YOU’RE ACTUALLY UPSET ABOUT THIS.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: yeah well</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: i am so</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: its fine though</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: i get it</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: im not a troll and i dont get this shit and i probably never will</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: im not sure why its upsetting but honestly its cool</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: look im kind of with some other people right now</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: i gotta go</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>My phone vibrated again a few minutes later, but I had already left the conversation. I didn’t feel like reading whatever he had to say and I didn’t want to end up feeling any worse than I already did. I truly didn’t understand why it upset me. Maybe I wanted to be his best friend. I wanted to be the one to help him through hard times. I didn’t want anyone else to take my spot. I knew it was possessive but I couldn’t help it. I eventually looked at Rose again who, despite her own fucked-up life and traumatic events she had experienced over the past several years since we began playing the game, had a goofy smile on her face. Sure, it was one influenced by an outside source, but so what? She was happy and I wanted to be happy, too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Rose?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm?” Her head tilted back so she could look at me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Think you can whip up one of those drinks for me, too?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her grin widened substantially and I followed her to her little makeshift bar.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The first drink was sickening. It made my tongue and my throat burn and my eyes even watered behind my shades. I had to lean over the counter as I coughed up my lungs. When I asked her why the </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck </span>
  </em>
  <span>she drank that shit, she assured me through a series of slurs and stutters that it actually got way better once the alcohol kicked in. I struggled for the next few sips but after a while, I knew exactly what she meant. The burning remained but it was tolerable and the feeling it left in my head was far worth it. Suddenly, my issues with Karkat didn’t seem so bad.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It only took twenty or so minutes for me to reach the same state as she and I were enjoying the “sibling bonding time,” even if I wouldn’t remember most of it in the morning. The two of us were sat on the floor in the common room again, cups in both of our hands and a large glass bottle between the two of us. Kanaya watched both of us, wishing she could trust Rose enough to be safe for her to return to her bedroom and ignore our words that were beginning to echo through the halls the more liquid we put into our bodies.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, but it’s like,” I drawled, my Texan accent making an appearance through my lips. “Why does he always sit so fuckin’ close to me durin’ our movie nights? It’s like he fuckin’ </span>
  <em>
    <span>wants </span>
  </em>
  <span>to hold my hand sometimes, but then he acts like nothin’ ever happened!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m telling you, Dave!” She raised her arms in the air dramatically, more of her drink spilling onto the rug. “He loves you! You just gotta fuckin’ kiss him!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I’m not gay and that’s gay, isn’t it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>totally </span>
  </em>
  <span>gay! I’m gay!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dude, so what if you’re gay? I’m not gay. I’ve never been gay. Have you ever seen me be gay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Would the two of you stop using that word?” Kanaya looked even more done with our shit and we didn’t even look at her. Frankly, it was pretty obvious she was speaking more to herself. “You’ve said it a thousand times. We all are aware of the subject of your conversation.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dave, you’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>super </span>
  </em>
  <span>gay. You know you love him!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, maybe I do,” I muttered, rubbing the back of my neck with my free hand. “But that ain’t the point!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Daaave!” She began to whine. I didn’t shy away from her touch when she leaned forward, planting her own free hand firmly onto my shoulder. I met her gaze from behind my glasses. “Dave, Dave, Dave.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is such teenage angst bullshit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re teena… Teeni… Teenagers! That’s, like, our whole thing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She started to laugh and I stifled a laugh of my own by taking another long drink of whatever was in my cup. There hadn’t been as much as I had been hoping for and a frown grew on my lips when I pulled away, peering into the bottom of my cup with confusion written all over my face. Rose stopped laughing for a brief moment to ask what was wrong.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What happened to my drink?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You consumed it, Dave,” Kanaya said, exasperated. “Do you lack knowledge on the consumption of edible objects now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” I sighed, dumbfounded now. “I need more, then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rose reached for the bottle to pour me another cup, a poor choice as her hands had zero control, but we lucked out as the bottle was now empty.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” she exclaimed, her own frown growing as well. “What happened to our drink?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please rescue me,” Kanaya muttered under her breath before standing. “Rose, Darling, I think it might be best if I get you safely back to your respitblock.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Awww, but Dave and I are talking!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dave should probably return to his as well.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Both Rose and I whined like children and I turned myself, laying down on the floor with my head on her lap. She immediately cradled my head to her, as if protecting me. If I were sober, I would’ve pushed her off. Drunk, I welcomed the touch. I didn’t have a single care in the world and in all honesty, I wanted to be with my sister. No doubt, we would be avoiding each other like the plague the next day as memories of our drunken endeavors flooded our hungover brains, but for the time being, it was nice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I wanna stay with him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hell yeah,” I agreed, allowing her hand to brush through my hair and mess it up. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Karkat does that, </span>
  </em>
  <span>I remembered, a small pang of sadness filling my chest. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I love it when Karkat does that.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Kanaya opened her mouth to attempt encouraging Rose to follow her back to her bedroom to rest, but there was suddenly another recognizable voice from the doorway that made my head perk up a little from Rose’s lap.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the fuck is going on in here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat stood in the doorway with his eyes down on my sister and I, his eyebrow raised in question and disappointment at the state I was in. In his eyes, I had really let myself go. In truth, I had. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your moirail and my matesprit have found solace in their inebriated state and have chosen to engage in it together for the night,” Kanaya answered for us. I found a bit of sobriety in his sharp tone, though it didn’t hit me as hard as it probably should’ve as Rose pulled my head into her again and I looked up at her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re havin’ a good time and you hurt him so go away!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Karkat’s confusion rose as she pointed a finger at him, both physically and metaphorically. “The fuck are you talking about?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You, like, friend-dumped him!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my God, Strider,” he groaned, planting his face firmly in his hand as Kanaya had been doing earlier. “You really got your sister involved?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I dunno,” I muttered, allowing Rose to run her fingers through my hair again. “I might’ve brought it up at some point, I guess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of fucking course you did,” he growled before approaching us, holding his hand out for me to take. I ignored it at first, not wanting to move. “I’m taking you back to your respitblock.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, you can’t make me.” I was defiant like a small child, crossing my arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re going to go fucking talk, dipshit. Let’s go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rose,” Kanaya also approached. “I’ll take you back to yours as well.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rose and I shared a quick look before getting up off our place on the floor, following our respective partners in opposite directions to our bedrooms after a bit of hesitation. Karkat had to hold my arm over his shoulders to make sure I didn’t topple over in the middle of the hallway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How the hell did you let yourself get to this level?” He sounded exhausted with my shit and I couldn’t blame him. I was pretty tired of my shit, too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dunno. Walked in an’ Rose was smilin’ and I wasn’t so I joined in.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not going to stop being your friend just because our moirallegiance is… not compatible for us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want anyone else to be your monorail. I dunno why,” I slurred, then corrected myself. “Moirail.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, Dave. It just isn’t for us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do moirails kiss?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He paused for a moment and it took me longer than it should have to realize that he was staring up at me, as if for a further explanation as to why I’d ask such a strange and personal question. I gave no answer and simply stared back down at him, both of us having stopped in front of the door to my bedroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um, sometimes? But that’s a personal choice and I usually choose not to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I hummed with thought and allowed him to open the door and lead me inside. It was comfortably messy but in my drunken state, I couldn’t maneuver around the clothes on the floor as well so he had to lead me through carefully. He knew my room just as well as I did, having spent a large chunk of the past three years in it with me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat sat me down at the edge of my bed and I immediately flopped back. I could hear him rummaging through my bedside drawer and my desk, cursing softly under his breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dave, where’s your water bottle?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rolled under the bed the other night,” I muttered, closing my eyes. “I kicked it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why would you do that?” I felt him push my legs out of the way so he could crouch down to find it. I scooted back a little more onto the bed to give him room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was mad I think,” I answered. “Cuz of you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Silence. With my lack of sobriety, the thought of him being upset with the fact I had been angry at him was there, but did nothing to my own emotions. I didn’t feel much guilt but I soon found out that it hadn’t been the reason he had fallen silent. I opened my eyes when he got up, sitting beside me on the bed with both my bottle and a piece of paper that I recognized even in my state of mind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, shit,” I breathed, reaching out to try to grab it from him. He easily raised his arm up and out of the way and I didn’t have the will or strength to sit up and take it. “Bro, gimme.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” he snapped, pushing the bottle into my hand instead. “Drink, then fucking explain.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I didn’t drink and I didn’t explain. I remembered writing the note during a private episode of mine only a few days ago when Karkat and I were struggling with our moirallegiance and only I knew why. The “I love him” at the end had been the real deal-breaker to our friendly relationship. It was clear that I wanted more and the sappy shit laced throughout the page in my sharp, angular handwriting made me want to curl up and die. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dave,” he said, only slightly softer after a few moments of silence. “Explain.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why should I?” I glared a bit up at him, laying back down and setting the water bottle to my side. “Why the fuck should I? Isn’t it all literally on paper for you to see? Did I not fucking explain enough just in that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why wouldn’t you tell me you felt that way?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why </span>
  <em>
    <span>would </span>
  </em>
  <span>I?!” I tore off my shades and brought my arm up to drape over my eyes. My chest was rising and falling quickly with anger and anxiety and other emotions I couldn’t pinpoint because I was drunk. I wanted to cry but I couldn’t bring myself to. Not in front of him. “You were so keen on us being buddies that I couldn’t just out and be like ‘Hey dude, I think you’re hot and I’d totally like to fuck you some time! Maybe a nice dinner beforehand!’ Would you tell me something like that?!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well… no…” he hummed. “Also, shut the fuck up. Don’t word it like that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fucking true though!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re only exposing yourself more here, Dave.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I groaned loudly before falling silent again with him. He let a prolonged silence fill the air before he let out another sigh of his own, pinching the bridge of his nose.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not alone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The fuck does that even mean?” I removed my arm and looked up at him. He sat with his legs crossed mere inches from me, his face still in his hand. He finally looked down at me as well, meeting my eyes. It was easy to see the confliction and relief in his expression and all of a sudden, I wasn’t so scared. I was starting to understand a little more and I relaxed just a little.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Our moirallegiance didn’t work out just because of you and your weird human culture. It didn’t work out because I’m not pale for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Human terms please,” I said, my own voice softer now. “I’m wasted.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m flushed for you, dumbass. Like, attracted. In your stupid human romantic ways, like you say you are for me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Silence filled the room again as my brain took longer than necessary to process the actual confession, the one I surely hadn’t imagined. The one that actually took place and that I hadn’t dreamed. The one that really passed his lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shit, you’re crushing on me? That’s pretty gay, Kittykat,” was all that could come out and I immediately wanted to slap myself. Karkat would’ve done it for me if his hands weren’t busy hiding his red face in his hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my fucking God, Strider,” he muttered before getting up. “I’m fucking out of here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, wait,” I quickly sat up and grabbed his wrist to stop him. “Sorry, I’m drunk. I have no flitter.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck. </span>
  </em>
  <span>“Filter.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Clearly,” he said with a roll of his eyes. “What the hell is wrong with you humans and your inebriating liquids? At least sopor was just a Gamzee thing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dunno man, but I’m probably gonna be regrettin’ this tomorrow.” I then added, “and I want you to stay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You… want me to stay?” His eyes widened just slightly. “Isn’t that against your alleged human heterosexuality?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but I literally wrote you a fuckin’ love note.” Realizing he wasn’t going to leave now if I let go, I released his wrist and sat back with both arms on the bed to hold myself up. “Heterosexuality out the goddamn window. Gone. Bye-bye, straightness. Hello, homo.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I understood about half of what you just said.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, same here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I saw a laugh threaten to escape as he smiled and I grinned as well, still looking up at him. I then held my arms out, opening and closing my fingers in a ‘gimme gimme’ motion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just… come sit with me, please?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, in your lap?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Duh, where else would you sit?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s plenty of space around you, Dave. I could sit literally anywhere else.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I shrugged slightly after looking around myself briefly. Yeah, he was right, but I didn’t care.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see no space at all. I guess you’ll just have to come sit on my lap. I’m homo for you, remember?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I fucking hate you,” he muttered but before he could say anything else, I grabbed his hips and pulled him down onto me and hugging him tight around his waist. Having both nowhere to go and enjoying the touch thoroughly, his arms snaked over my shoulders and his head tucked into my neck. When I was able to pinpoint the moment in which he was too comfortable and relaxed to try to run away from me, I laid back onto the bed with him on top of me, still straddling me. We both sighed softly and with content. Things suddenly felt okay and I didn’t want it to change and I couldn’t see my opinion on the matter changing when I got sober again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” I retaliated, smiling a little. “You don’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then, he leaned up and kissed me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 13:28 --</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>TT: Hello, Dave.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TT: How are you doing this wretched afternoon?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: i want to kill myself</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: rose how do you deal with this more than once</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: my body is rejecting everything right now</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: karkat brought me some water and i threw it back up in twenty seconds flat</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: he literally timed it the little fucker</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TT: Yes, hangovers are not exactly the easiest to deal with.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TT: Karkat is caring for you?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: yeah he uh</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: he stayed with me last night</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TT: Oh?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: i am not elaborating for you</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: my head is not fucking ready to be psychoanalyzed right now</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TT: Oh, believe me, my dear brother.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TT: My head is not fucking ready to do any psychoanalyzing, too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TT: But it sounds as though perhaps you’ve worked things out with Karkat?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: yeah</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: i mean</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: you could put it like that sure</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TT: …</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: he kissed me last night</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: and then he slept with me</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TT: That is quite the big step.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TT: Were you able to at least figure out some form of protection?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: what</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: fuck</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: no that isnt what i meant</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: i meant he stayed with me in my bed last night</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: thats it</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: jesus fucking christ i hate myself</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TT: I see.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TT: I found it peculiar as to why you felt the need to tell me something that personal all of a sudden considering you’re typically a very closed book when it comes to your romantic endeavors.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: sex is a terrifying concept and that is going to be the last thing i ever speak to you about</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: you can analyze my romantic life whatever</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: but absolutely fucking not my sex life</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: i would rather die</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TT: The feeling is mostly mutual, though I would be intrigued to be able to...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TT: How do I put this…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: no dont</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: never gonna happen dude</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TT: Fair enough.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TT: Well, Dave, I’m glad you worked things out with Karkat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>TT: The two of you definitely deserve each other and will make a fine pair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: thanks</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: not to cut this shit short but uh</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: i gotta go throw up whatever else my body can produce</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TT: Yes, same here.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TT: Good luck with the rest of your hangover.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TT: Don’t break the toilet bowl.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: oh and rose</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TT: Yes?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: we never speak of last night ever again</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TT: Agreed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TT: Goodbye, Dave.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: see ya</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 13:37 --</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Flower Boy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In a universe in which trolls get periods, Karkat gets his and Dave does something nice for him.</p><p>(Brief mention of blood)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>&gt;Dave, take care of your boyfriend.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You are unsure of what this command entails as you dream of your life back in Texas before the creation of your new universe that you share with your friends, family, and most importantly your boyfriend, who, even in your dreams, you know is sleeping peacefully beside you in your shared bed. Karkat is the definition of cuddly and you won’t have it any other way. You secretly love being the little spoon on occasion and there is no exception to this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You usually don’t like the reminders of your life before this that your dreams provide, especially when they consist of nightmares that make you shoot up in a cold sweat, rousing your lover from his peaceful slumber as well. Tonight was a nice dream, though. You are sitting in your room with headphones on, listening to an old playlist that you still have in the waking world. It’s a playlist you made to one day listen to with someone else when you were able to escape the shithole you lived in during that time. You were thirteen and now, at twenty-two, you share it with Karkat. The playlist has expanded since then as Karkat added some of his own meaningful songs. It’s still your favorite playlist and in your dream, it remains the same.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>However, the odd command that had wracked your brain only moments ago pinged again, this time in your favorite boy’s voice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Davey? Dave, wake up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>&gt;Dave, listen to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You do, stirring a bit. When you open your sensitive eyes, you close them again, noticing how the bedside lamp on Karkat’s side is on. Yours is not and you are facing the direction of it, but the faint light that floods the room is still too much for your tired and touchy vision. You sit up a bit, leaning against one elbow and rubbing your eyes with your free hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” he whispers softly and nervously, not giving you the chance to ask what’s wrong. You finally do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? What for? Are you okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Your Texan accent makes an appearance as you’re too tired to correct yourself like you usually do. You open your eyes again, this time forcing them to stay open, and you squint towards him. You notice that he’s changed since you fell asleep and your brain is too muddy to pinpoint exactly why, though it should be obvious considering it isn’t the first time it’s happened.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My cycle started…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” you mumble with realization. You sit up fully then, swinging your legs over the edge of the bed. You rub your eyes with both fists before grabbing your shades. When you look back behind you, you see the blanket you shared has been pulled down on his side and on the sheets is a small bit of blood where he had been laying not long ago. You turn to him once more. “It’s okay, baby. Are you feeling alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not really, but I changed and I feel a little better, I guess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see that.” You smile a bit. You won’t say it outright, but you love when he wears something as simple as his pajamas. He’s obsessed with the softest things he can find and he’s always so cozy to hold. He’s always going to be your little teddy bear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Without needing to be instructed, you follow the nearly monthly routine of grabbing a clean set of sheets from the closet and bringing them back. When you return to the bedroom, you see that Karkat has already removed the bedding, separating the clean from the dirty, and was sitting in the bean bag chair in the corner, biting his nails from behind the paws his sweater gave him. You hate that he does this because you know it’s an anxiety habit he formed from you. He winces once in pain and shivers gently from the cramps and chills that are gradually growing more and more intense by the minute. You frown and set the sheets on top of the mattress before approaching him and crouching down in front of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>&gt;Dave, comfort your distressed boyfriend.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Karkat, hey,” you say softly and his eyes meet yours. Your hand is on his wrist, gently pulling his fingers from his mouth. “Stop biting. You’re going to chew your fingers off.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry,” he says quickly, then averts your gaze all too quickly. You frown a little more. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kitty, love,” you coo, knowing he secretly adores when you say such things. “Please don’t worry about this. This isn’t your fault.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” he mumbles and you can tell that he’s biting back a little smile at the use of his pet names. “I just hate being a bother.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not a bother. I don’t mind doing this, you know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You say that but everyone I know would be so pissed being woken up every month because their useless fucking matesprit can’t change the sheets himself because of some pain he should be used to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, a lot of that is a bunch of bullshit and I’m too fucking tired to go into some long shpeel about you shutting the fuck up about that,” you say and he smiles a little bit then. “But just… stop, okay? I don’t mind taking care of you when you need it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gives a very small nod and you leave him with a kiss on the head before going over to the bed to slip the sheets on. You take the blankets and pillows as well to make the bed properly. When you finish and look over at Karkat, his arms are wrapped tight around his stomach and he’s feeling the little contractions his body is forcing him to endure. You find yourself frowning once more. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Want me to go get you a rice pack?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Please</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he practically gasps. It hurts a little to hear him in so much pain and for what it’s worth, you are surprised he can endure such extreme amounts of pain without completely losing it. Rose had given you quite the talking to when you had lived with her on the meteor. Karkat had holed himself up in his bedroom due to his pains and you had questioned the validity of the pain he was experiencing. Rose dragged you to the library and lectured you for an hour, even teaching you about how the process actually worked. It grossed you out at first, but when she mentioned the contractions, it got through. It was still annoying but you ended the night by leaving a couple of chocolate bars and a flower that you were able to alchemize outside his bedroom door. Kanaya confirmed he had received the gifts later that evening and even mentioned how happy he had been seeing them. He still gets that excited when you bring him little presents. Some things never change.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You retrieve a warm rice pack for him as quickly as you can along with some pain medication and when you return to the bedroom, he’s already back in bed, curled into a small ball with the blanket pulled to his chin. His eyes are screwed shut.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” you say softly so as not to startle him. “I got you some painkillers.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sits up a little then and takes the hot pack from your hand. He takes a drink from his water bottle to take the pills. As he does, you turn off his lamp and make your way to your side of the bed where you curl up under the blankets with him. You remove your shades as well. Usually, Karkat turns to face away from you, but this time he was looking right up at you with those eyes you love so much, one of his legs between both of yours for comfort. Your arms are tight around his waist and when you give him a small smile, he moves to tuck his head happily under your chin. Chills continue to wrack through his body and you simply hold him closer to you every time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” he mumbles softly. You feel him leaning further into your touch when you kiss the top of his head. You’re already half asleep again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“‘Course,” you respond. “Love you so much…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Love you, too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>&gt;Dave, go get your boyfriend some flowers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh, hell yes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You wake up in the morning with the absolute greatest idea after one of the most sleepless nights of your boyfriend’s life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>While you had slept like a baby until Karkat’s awakening, he had been dealing with wave upon wave of cramps, chills, nausea, and more due to his “time of the month”. You can never remember the term he uses when talking about his troll period, which he doesn’t do very often, so you simply continue to call it his troll period. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His period has a strange pattern of appearing in the dead of night and waking you both up and while you are usually able to go right back to sleep after cleaning up, his pain and discomfort prohibits him from the same ability. You woke up several times throughout the night as you felt him shiver and groan softly with pain. When you wake up fully in the morning, his back is pressed firmly to your chest and he’s practically vibrating in your arms, though he seems to be sleeping lightly through the tremors disturbing his body. When you sit up to look at his expression, his cheeks are flushed and his breathing is shaking with his body. You have half a mind to take him to the car and drive him to the hospital but you resist the urge. This happens every month.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You remove your hand from his hip and carefully get out of bed, making sure not to wake him. You follow a mental list in your head to get ready to go out, adding a few things here and there. Get dressed, brush your teeth, take your Adderall, retrieve extra blankets for Karkat, get shoes on, write Karkat a note saying that you’ll return soon, grab wallet, grab keys, go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Your trip to the store is short and while you’re out, you pick up some red roses for Karkat. He loves the cliche of red roses and with it being your color of choice, he loves it more. You aren’t one for flowers unless Karkat finds one and decides to give it to you (then you’re a sucker for flowers), but he certainly is so you’re sure to pick out some good ones. While you’re out, you grab some breakfast from his favorite restaurant. You also pick up some champagne because why the fuck not? You both surely deserve it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When you arrive home, you hear the shower running and you’re immediately relieved to know that he was able to get himself out of bed without any help. You set everything down on the kitchen table, putting away the few actual groceries you needed while leaving the champagne, breakfast, and the roses in the center. You then head into the bathroom where the door had been left unlocked for you. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>&gt;Dave, scare the shit out of your lovely boyfriend.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, you got your ass out of bed!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gasps sharply and drops whatever bottle he had in his hand. The sound would have made you flinch but you’re too busy snickering.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dammit, Strider!” His voice is right back to normal without any shakiness. You know he’s still having cramps as you had seen the warm rice pack in the microwave that was waiting for his return. “Don’t do that!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You then peek your head through the curtain and grin at him. He doesn’t shy away from your eyes like he once used to. The two of you have been dating for years so none of this was new to you. He shoots you a glare after picking up the bottle of conditioner that had been dropped to the floor violently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is privacy not a human concept? Go away.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It is. But I don’t think this even counts as a private affair. How many times have we showered together?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t fucking know, Dave! We’ve been showering together since we were sixteen, you really think I’ve been keeping track?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seems like something you’d keep track of because you’re weird like that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not that weird!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He crosses his arms and glares up at you. You take note of a little glimmer in his eyes and your face breaks into a big grin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re lying. You’ve totally been keeping track, haven’t you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I told you to go away!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You laugh then. You know he tallies up a lot of the things you two do together, such as how many dates you two have been on and, of course, how many days you two have been dating. It wasn’t much of a shock to find out that he recorded something like that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, weirdo,” you say before reaching out, grabbing his bare arm gently, and pulling him in for a kiss. “Come on out to the kitchen when you’re done. I brought home breakfast.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mkay. I’ll be out soon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat is smiling when you leave and your heart warms up at the sight. You wait for him in the kitchen, playing on your phone as you sit at the table and before long, you hear him leave the bathroom and he joins you in the kitchen. His eyes fall to the little setup of presents you have laid out on the table in front of you while yours fall to his new little outfit. His hair is still damp, but it’s a mess of loose curls that you love to play with. He’s wearing your favorite t-shirt, the one with the scratched record, and a pair of gray flannel pajama bottoms. He had grabbed the rice pack from the microwave before approaching you and had it pressed flush against his lower abdomen. His cheeks were growing darker.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dave, you-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, yeah,” you smile warmly, setting your phone to the side. “Figured you might like a little something after last night.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pauses as he stares at the gifts and a second later, he sets the rice pack down on the table and hugs you tight. Your arms snake around his waist. You know he’s emotional simply due to what his body was subjecting him to, so you choose to keep any teasing comments about the tears that had lined his eyes to yourself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you,” he mumbles against your ear and you find yourself smiling as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you, too, Kat.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he pulls away, he rubs his eyes to rid of his tears. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>&gt;Dave, be the cliche boyfriend he loves you to be.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You follow this command with ease, lifting a single rose from the vase you had left the bouquet in before pushing it into his hair, pinning it behind his ear. He leans down and your little flower boy leaves you with a kiss you feel on your lips for hours to come.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Your Name is Karkat Vantas, and You Want to See Him</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Revolutionary Karkat misses Dave. After a mission gone wrong, he finds himself not so upset with where he ends up.<br/>(Minor blood and gore, character deaths, and mild themes of suicide, but I swear it ends happily)<br/>Also I know I made Jade somewhat a villain in this. I know this is a mischaracterization and I apologize but the only purpose for it in this fic is to encompass the sadness and bitterness Karkat is feeling about everything.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you want to see him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You don’t remember how long it’s been since you’ve last seen him, not that you ever will. John told you long ago of his passing and the last time you remember seeing Dave was at his wedding with Jade. You never even got to say hello. Or, more importantly, you never got to say </span>
  <em>
    <span>goodbye</span>
  </em>
  <span>. And now you never will.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You regret not telling him, of course. You regret it every single day and you hate the feeling that bubbles in your chest every time you think of what could’ve been. If you two had simply ignored John’s sneeze, he would’ve kissed you and everything would’ve been okay. Or if you hadn’t stormed off the way you had during Tavros’ birthday party or if you had brought Dave with you, or even if you had simply talked to him before he decided to get married to Jade, maybe you would’ve been able to be with him or just get the chance to say goodbye.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You wish so badly that you could’ve told him how you felt and still feel. Especially since you know he felt the same. Your chance has passed, though. You have a job to do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You and your growing army have been trying to take down Jane’s so-called “democracy” for a long time now and having Meenah at your side should make you feel unstoppable now that the two of you have unknowing amounts of power over your people, but each passing day reminds you of how much more powerful you’d feel if it were Dave at your side instead. A literal god.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You wish you knew how his death had been labeled heroic or just. Had he died trying to save Jade? They had been on a mission together so the chances were high. This makes you dislike her all that much more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Today, the plans you have for your revolution takes a large step towards your goal. You are leading your army and Meenah into Jane’s quarters while she’s out in order to snoop through her computer. You plan to steal her documents and search through them later to get a peek into how her defenses affect your own, as well as what her plans for your army entail. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s beyond dangerous, especially when taking into consideration your mortality, but you can’t find it within yourself to care. If you die, it’s for a good cause. If you don’t, then you can carry on. You’re not fucking okay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You look out over your group of ten other people, including Kanaya, Rose, and Meenah at your side. You’ve already gone over the instructions. Kanaya and Rose are to accompany you to Jane’s office while Meenah is to lead the rest through to the control center to ensure security is shut down and taken care of. Rose expresses the same concerns you do for the success of the mission, but there isn’t much you can do. It has to be done today and everyone knows it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You’re unsure of what will happen if you fail.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jane’s security guards are easy to bypass. When you and your group show up unexpectedly and they’re unprepared, they’re easy enemies to kill. You hate getting blood on your hands but it’s necessary, so you don’t complain. You come to a fork in the lower hallways where cameras are minimal and you look to Meenah who is looking at you as well. She cocks a little smile towards you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You gonna be okay up there, Vantas?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just shut down the security system,” you respond, bringing out your sickles once more. Even after the game, they remain your weapon of choice. Old habits die hard. “We’ll be fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t get killed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When she leans over and kisses your cheek, you have half a mind to wipe it away with the back of your sleeve. You refrain and shoot her a half-hearted smile as well before she turns to lead her group down the opposite hallway where you will be heading down with Kanaya and Rose. You’ve found physical affection to be repulsive since Dave’s passing. Of course it had something to do with him, but you can’t pinpoint why. You used to be okay with Meenah before but you can’t find comfort in her touch anymore.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You give Meenah and her group two minutes and, as planned, the lights shut down and red emergency lights begin flashing down the hallways. That’s your cue to make your way to Jane’s office with your own small team.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With the map you’ve created, it doesn’t take long to get there. With security gone, you’re able to simply walk right in with Rose and Kanaya behind you. You’re quick to sit down at her overly-large desk that just </span>
  <em>
    <span>screams</span>
  </em>
  <span> villain and you insert the USB stick into her PC. As quickly as you can, you move and delete as many files as you can in the time you’re given. Rose and Kanaya stand beside you, watching you work. This poses an issue when we hear a third party clear their throat and your heads shoot up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jane,” Rose nearly growls. Her needles are drawn, as well as Kanaya’s chainsaw. You quickly stand and sure enough, you’re met with the sight of Jane in the doorway, a disappointed glare on her face as she eyes you and your team up and down. On either side of her is a guard, guns drawn and aimed at your companions. You are unsure of why she’s here when she had been scheduled to tend to some issues on the other side of the planet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Karkat,” she says and your ears draw back just slightly. You bare your teeth instinctively. “What exactly do you think you’re doing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Protecting myself and my species. Hasn’t that been obvious?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“By fighting, you’re putting your species in more danger. I have no intent to cause any harm to you or your kind. I’ve explained this.” She sighs and you feel rage bubbling up inside you the same way it does when you find yourself mad about your past with Dave.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve made it clear what your true intentions are,” Kanaya says with a sharper tone than you’ve ever heard from her. She’s prepared to fight as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then why do you continue to fight if you know of my intentions? My intentions are all good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, my ass,” you growl. Your sickles are tight in your own hands. “You’re all about power. You don’t give a flying fuck about my kind.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Karkat, remember,” she says softly, taking a step towards you. “I’m the one to help you with finishing the game. Creating this universe. Keeping your species from extinction. Now, I have no desire to harm you or your friends, but I will do what needs to be done, so I recommend you lower your weapons so I do not need to resort to such actions.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We will do no such thing,” Rose snaps. You feel pride in your chest at the bravery of your team. “You’re the reason all of this is happening. If you had just taken our thoughts into account, everything would be normal. There wouldn’t be an entire population fighting against you. Many trolls who have been killed under your rules to avoid overpopulation would be alive today. My </span>
  <em>
    <span>brother </span>
  </em>
  <span>would still be here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That brings a sharp pain to your chest and you know she’s right. If Jane hadn’t caused so many problems, Dave wouldn’t have been subjected to whatever death he experienced. You miss him. You miss him so much.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am not responsible for Dave’s death, nor the deaths of the trolls,” Jane growls. “Now, lower your weapons or we will fire.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You and your team refuse. You stand your ground and after a moment of silence, Jane sighs softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I truly am sorry for this, but you leave me no choice.” She draws her own weapon and your fighting instincts take over in an instant. “Fire with intent to kill.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then there are gunshots.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You are able to wound Jane greatly and she retreats when you find yourself distracted with one of the guards. Four more guards come in and the security system comes back on, locking you, Rose, and Kanaya in with six of Jane’s fully armored guards. The three of you are able to take them all out with your superior training, but you find that you all had not been as careful as you’d hoped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>One guard lifts his pistol in his final breath and a bullet shoots clean through your chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You know in an instant that this is it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rose is the one to ensure he’s dead as you slide down against the desk, the wound throbbing with the final beats of your heart. Kanaya is already crying and trying her best to stop the bleeding but even you know it’s no use. That or you’re simply okay with the idea of death at this point. As Kanaya desperately removes her jacket to hold over the wound, you weakly grab at her wrist, giving a crooked little smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kanaya,” you manage to gasp out. It hurts, but it isn’t as bad as you thought it would be. “Hey…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, don’t you dare say a word about how it’s okay,” she manages between sobs. You’ve never seen her cry like this. “Because it’s not okay, Karkat.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But it is. It is okay…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You all look over to the door, locked by security, when you hear rhythmic marching growing near. When you look up again, Rose is fighting back her own tears. Very poorly, too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You need to go,” you say. “Break through the windows and go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re not leaving you here,” Rose says. “That isn’t an option.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you take me, you’ll both die. I’m a lost cause. Get the memory stick, break a window, and fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>go</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It’s… an order.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two of them share a look, conflicted by the options, but they find that you’re  right. They don’t have time to ponder the options. So, they do just as you say and when they break the window, the marching is just down the hall. They approach you one last time as your vision is fading in and out. You’re nearly gone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Karkat,” Kanaya whispers, your cheeks in her soft hands. You look at her, your expression foggy and faded. “I love you. I love you so much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Love you too…” you say softly, smiling just a bit. You’re numb to the pain now and you’re simply waiting for yourself to fully slip away. She kisses your cheek. Rose crouches down beside her, taking one of your hands in hers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Say hi to Dave for me, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You manage a small nod.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Your eyes shoot open suddenly and you’re not sure of where you are. Everything is black, including the floor you’re standing on. Well, floating on. There seems to be no end to this void you find yourself in and it slowly begins to come to you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You’re dead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You’re dead and this is your punishment. You get to live in this empty void for eternity.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You look down at your body and find yourself in a familiar outfit. A pair of shorts and your favorite red shirt that Dave had left behind at your apartment. You wore it very rarely so you could keep his scent on it and in the waking world, it had already faded. Here, you could smell him in it as if he himself had been wearing it only moments ago. It’s comforting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You also notice that you aren’t as strong as you had been and you realize when you reach up to feel your own face that you’re much younger, between eighteen and early twenties. Your eyepatch is gone and you don’t have any scars, not to mention a hell of a lot less muscle. You don’t need that strength anymore though, so you don’t mind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You then turn to get a full view of the place you’re in and you see someone sitting in front of a television screen, watching a shitty romcom you used to enjoy watching during your days on the meteor when you were between six and a half to eight sweeps old. Not only that, but you recognize who’s sitting in front of the television, tapping a small beat on the invisible floor with his fingers. He’s back to the same age as you, too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dave…?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His head perks up and he’s on his feet in an instant, turning to face you, and you both just stare at each other. Even in the afterlife, he’s wearing those tacky shades. Your desire is to go and rip them off his face so you can kiss him senseless but you’re too shocked to actually see him. You were so afraid you never would be able to, but here he is, sharing the same shocked expression as you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Karkat?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His voice brings tears to your eyes and you know he’s holding back his own when he presses his lips tightly together and tries to smile through them. You run to him and in only a second, your arms are over his shoulders and his are tight around your waist, lifting you off the ground. You decide to wrap your legs around him, too. Now, he can’t let go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You’re a sobbing mess with one hand in his hair, the other balled up in his shirt (it’s one of your old shirts!) while both of his grasp at the one you’re wearing. You hold his head to your chest and you can feel him crying as well. You hadn’t noticed him toss his shades to the side when you jumped in his arms, so he’s able to bury his face deep into your chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re here,” you breathe through cries, resting your head on top of his. “You’re actually fucking here…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve been waiting for so goddamn long for you,” he says and the more he talks, the more you realize that this is </span>
  <em>
    <span>real </span>
  </em>
  <span>and you’re with him again and you never have to leave ever again. You’re done fighting. You’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>home</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You both pull away a bit to look up at each other. You can no longer see the vibrant red in his eyes now that it’s faded due to death, but they’re still his eyes and it’s still </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>, the boy you love that you haven’t seen in years. Your hands move to his cheeks and you move to kiss him without thinking about any possible consequences. You know with every part of your being that he loves you, too. He doesn’t love Jade the same way he loves you and you know this. You also know that you’re right when he’s kissing you back like you’re his world. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When you both pull away from that, you’re laughing breathlessly through your tears and you hug him tight again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I should’ve told you when we were alive,” you say, your fingers right back in his hair. “I should’ve done something to show it…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I should have, too… I didn’t want to marry Jade…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know you didn’t…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t put you down for a long time and when he does, he sits back on the ground in front of the television and immediately pulls you back into his lap and his arms. Neither of you let go for many hours to come, enjoying what had been lost for so many years. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When your tears finally come to an end (you simply have no more left to cry), you let out a small laugh and he hums in question, gently nuzzling his head further into your neck. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I forgot to tell you,” you begin to explain. “Y’know, being reunited for the first time in fucking years…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, yeah,” he agrees. “That’ll do that to you. What is it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rose says hi.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He laughed then as well and you feel him squeeze you gently around your waist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course she does.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You have no worries about your friends. The revolution seems small to you now because you know what’s waiting for them when they do die, and it’s all good. They’ll come back to whatever they needed most in their waking lives and none of it will matter. They’ll come home and they’ll be happy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you missed your boyfriend so fucking much</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Truth Or Dare, Bitches</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dave, John, Rose, and Jade have a sleepover. It's a cliche high school story in which a game of Truth or Dare leads to Dave confessing to the love of his life.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Alright,” John said, plopping himself down onto one of the many mountains of pillows that were strewn about the room. I didn’t look up from my phone and the gray text in front of me, smiling subconsciously. “We have a movie picked out, we’ve got snacks, we’ve got drinks, and we’ve all picked our spots around the room. Anything else?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Everything looks properly set up to me, John,” Rose mumbled from her own spot, curled up in Jade’s grandpa’s recliner in the corner with a book in her lap. “Would you mind putting my phone on the charger for me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I looked up then after sending one last text, watching Rose reach forward to hand John her phone. As mentioned, pillows were towered high throughout the room from a failed fort Jade and John had tried to make while my sister and I stayed in our respective spaces, her reading a book her girlfriend had loaned her and me texting the boy I secretly wished would be my boyfriend. I eventually had joined in on building the fort, by which I mean I had jumped in to completely destroy it and wreak havoc among the previously peaceful endeavor. The television was on, the score of </span>
  <em>
    <span>Face Off </span>
  </em>
  <span>featuring John’s imaginary husbands playing through the television speakers. Jade’s grandfather was out for the night so he had allowed us all to take over the living room. We were allowed to be as loud and obnoxious as we wished.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bro, are we ever going to watch a movie that doesn’t have Nic Cage in it?” I turned from laying on my front to laying on my back facing the opposite direction, my neck tilted over the pillows to look at John. He was sitting dangerously close enough for my head to be nearly resting on his thigh. Neither of us seemed to care. “I’ve got nothing against the dude and his shitty movies, but you pop a boner every single time his manly physique makes an appearance and I’d hate for everybody to know that you’re gay. You know, that being your ‘big secret’ and all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jade and Rose giggled quietly and John smacked me upside the head, to which I chuckled and reached up to fix my hair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am not gay, his movies are not shitty, and no, we’re not watching anything else because all of your movie picks are filled with a bunch of ironic bullshit!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aw, John,” I placed a hand dramatically over my heart. “You wound me. How will I ever recover from this sick burn?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You won’t. That’s how.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stuck his tongue out defiantly at me and I did the same in return before Jade hit the play button on the remote and the movie started only a moment later. I turned again so I was laying on my chest with the pillows as cushion. I had John on my right and Jade to my left, and to the left of Jade was Bec, who had stopped staring at me so intensely only a few minutes prior to my interaction with John. Frankly, that dog kind of freaked me out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>My phone buzzed again about ten minutes into the movie with a message from Karkat. I pulled it out of my back pocket, having not yet changed into my pajamas for the night, and looked at the text with excitement.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-- carcinoGeneticist </span>
  <span>[CG] </span>
  <span>began trolling turntechGodhead </span>
  <span>[TG] </span>
  <span>at 22:08 --</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CG: THIS REMINDS ME OF YOU.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Below it was an image of a clearly outdated meme in his language. Alternian, I think. I snorted quietly to myself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>TG: bro what</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: i cant even read this shit</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: what does it say</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CG: AREN’T YOU THE MASTER OF IRONY?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CG: AREN’T THE INTRICACIES OF IRONY SOMETHING YOU’RE BEYOND FAMILIAR WITH?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CG: SOMETHING YOU PRIDE YOURSELF IN EVEN?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: damn dude</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: you got me there</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: the student surpasses the teacher</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: good job</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CG: THANK YOU.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who’s that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jade’s voice from beside me made me jolt sharply, pushing my phone face down into the pillows under my chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jesus Christ,” I breathed softly. “You scared me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry,” she giggled. “You’re just grinning like an idiot so I wanted to know who you’re texting.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just Karkat,” I responded, picking up my phone again. My reflexes were coming back to bite me in the ass. My friends weren’t my father. They wouldn’t hurt me for talking to a boy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Just </span>
  </em>
  <span>Karkat?” Her eyes sparkled and I raised an eyebrow from behind my shades. John, who was now listening in, nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, what do you mean </span>
  <em>
    <span>just </span>
  </em>
  <span>Karkat? You love him!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god,” I groaned, burying my face into the pillows below me. “Don’t do this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on! You like him, just admit it!” Jade smiled brightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to go get changed and this conversation is getting dropped right fucking now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I stood, snatching my pajamas from the top of my open backpack before swiftly making my way to the bathroom. They were both telling me not to deny it as I shut the door and I even heard Rose snicker quietly. I sighed deeply, my phone still in hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>CG: DAAAVE.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CG: DAVE.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CG: DON’T MAKE ME CALL YOU BY YOUR FIRST NAME. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>CG: BECAUSE I WILL.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: all good</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: im here</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: sorry </span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: im hanging with some friends and theyre being assholes</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CG: OH.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CG: WHO ARE YOU WITH?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: my sister and john and jade</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: honestly though theyre just being funny</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: no biggie</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CG: IF YOU SAY SO.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: im spending the night at jades place tonight</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: so i may not be around much but ill do my best</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CG: DID YOU ESCAPE OR SOMETHING?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: yeah im in the bathroom to change into pajamas</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: just a sec</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I set the phone down on the countertop and pulled my jeans off, tugging my soft red flannel pajamas on. I did the same with my shirt and was just able to see a message before it disappeared off my screen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>CG: CARE TO SHOW ME?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I couldn’t even read his new messages for a moment as I processed what I had just seen, my cheeks growing red. After a solid thirty seconds of just standing and staring at my screen, I shook my head free of the thoughts that were beginning to plague my mind. I picked up my phone again and simply assumed that I had misread whatever he had sent.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-- carcinoGeneticist </span>
  <span>[CG] </span>
  <span>deleted a message --</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CG: YEAH, TAKE YOUR TIME.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: whatd you send</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CG: NOTHING.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CG: JUST A MISCLICK.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CG: MIND YOUR BUSINESS.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: well it was in my chat window so it kind of is my business</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: boom</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: fucking called out</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CG: SHUT UP, STRIDER. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>CG: GO BACK TO YOUR FRIENDS ALREADY.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: yes sir</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: will do</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: well talk later alright</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CG: SOUNDS GOOD.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CG: LATER.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-- carcinoGeneticist </span>
  <span>[CG] </span>
  <span>has ceased trolling turntechGodhead </span>
  <span>[TG] </span>
  <span>at 22:19 --</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> I didn’t think about the message again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I shoved my phone into my left pocket before heading back out to the living room where the room was silent and there were three pairs of eyes on me. I sucked in a breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You guys look like I just murdered somebody. What’s your deal?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s going on with you and Karkat?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rose’s nosey question wasn’t surprising, but it certainly was unwarranted. I shot her a little glare, my hands balling up into fists in my pockets. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing is going on with us. Can we stop talking about it? Why are you guys so fucking curious about him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s let it go,” Jade said quickly as she noticed the red in my cheeks rising. “How about a game?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What kind of game?” John already seemed to like the idea.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A gentle, PG game of Truth or Dare?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I regretted the suggestion the moment it passed my lips but all three of them actually agreed with my stupid decision and I was trapped with it. Majority rules.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jade found a spinner from an old board game in her closet and we all sat in a circle with snacks between us to share. I was happy to steal Rose’s sour candy whenever she was about to reach for some, a form of revenge for all the nosey questions she liked to ask about my non-existent love life. I grinned every time she let out an exasperated sigh. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The game was simple, of course. And easy. Too easy. I constantly picked ‘dare’, hoping for a challenge but never receiving one. I dished out good truths and dares but never received anything in turn. I eventually got bored.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dave,” Rose then said for the millionth time. “Truth or dare?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you think?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Call Karkat and tell him about your true feelings.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I shot up then and immediately glared hard at her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the hell makes you assume I feel anything special for him at all?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dave,” Jade then spoke softly. “It’s really obvious.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When I looked to John for backup, he only nodded in agreement, and once again, I was trapped. Of course, they could see right through me and my facade. I then sighed and groaned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t get out of this, can I?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not unless you’re willing to lose the game, no,” Rose grinned. She knew that I was more willing to embarrass myself than I was willing to lose at something, so of course I’d go through with it. It was easier to embarrass myself in front of my brother, but losing had always been out of the question. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What would they do if I lost at something?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nothing. They wouldn’t do anything and despite this knowledge, I couldn’t ease myself away from the challenge. I pulled my phone out with a shaky hand, holding my breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If this goes wrong, I’m blaming you all and I’m never hanging out with you guys ever again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fair enough,” Rose replied, chin in her hand with an amused grin spread across her cheeks. “Just go through with the dare. We’ll give you all the praise in the world afterward.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-- turntechGodhead </span>
  <span>[TG] </span>
  <span>began pestering carcinoGeneticist </span>
  <span>[CG] </span>
  <span>at 00:12 --</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: hey</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: you still awake</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CG: OF COURSE.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CG: WHEN DO I EVER SLEEP?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: good</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: we gotta talk</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: are you able to call</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CG: YEAH, I CAN CALL.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CG: IS EVERYTHING ALRIGHT?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: i hope so</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TG: just dont be mad or make anything weird okay</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CG: UH… OKAY?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I didn’t wait for another text before hitting the call button and putting the phone on speaker. I gestured to everyone else to keep their mouths shut, which they promptly pressed their lips in a thin line to show me that they were going to do as I said. After two rings, he picked up, likely needing a moment to get his headphones. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” he said from a somewhat clear mic. My heart rate skyrocketed. “Everything good?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, uh…” I looked around at my three friends and they all nodded slightly in encouragement. “I gotta tell you something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright. Then tell me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I paused, trying to think of my next words very carefully. No matter what I did, it would come off weird. I had never confessed to anyone, nor had I ever needed to in the past. I had never been in love like I was with Karkat. I was fucked no matter what I did, frankly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well… Um… So, I’ve been thinking…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wow, thinking. What an alien concept to you, Dave. Is your head alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I couldn’t stifle a laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Coming from the dude who overthinks absolutely everything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I guess that makes us one hell of a duo then, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There went my heart again. Heat rose to my cheeks and after a moment, I sighed softly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, that’s part of what I wanted to talk to you about.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, so,” I played with the hem of my shirt nervously, refusing to look at the phone as if it were actually him. “I’ve been… having these feelings when I’m with you. Like, really warm and nervous feelings that I tried to ignore for a while but… they’re only getting more intense, I guess?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you trying to say?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He’s so oblivious</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Rose mouthed to Jade, who nodded. I buried my face in my hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like you. A lot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like… more than friends?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mhm,” I hummed, my hands gripping my own hair gently then to keep them from shaking. My ears were glowing red by now and as silence came from the receiver, guilt and anger with myself filled my chest. “You don’t have to respond or anything if you don’t feel the same. Frankly, I’d like to forget this ever happened, so-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you wanna go on a date?” His nervous tone caught my attention, as did the question. “Next Saturday maybe? We could go to that cafe you like if you want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A… A date?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You said you liked me, didn’t you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>My head lifted from my hands as I stared at my phone then with wide eyes. In my peripheral vision, I could see my friends with bright smiles on their faces and my sister with a sly grin. I hummed in confirmation again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like you, too. And I’d like to go on a date.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I… Yeah, me too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sweet,” he said and I could hear the smile growing just in his tone. My cheeks had never been so red in my life. “I’ll stop by your house at eleven and we can walk there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sounds… Sounds good, Kat. I’ll see you then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“See you, Dave.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I hung up with a shaky hand before letting out a small, trembling sigh. I covered my mouth with my hand to hide the smile spreading across my cheeks and before I could say a thing, Jade let out a happy squeal and threw her arms around me from the side, nearly toppling me over. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You did it!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Holy shit, Dave’s got a date!” John was smiling as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I… Wow,” I breathed. “I didn’t expect that to go down like that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And just think,” Rose said, affectionately ruffling her fingers through my hair. “If you had just listened to us from the start, you could’ve been dating him a year ago.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I grinned up at her and rolled my eyes, though it wasn’t visible from behind my shades.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah. I know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Moments later, I was declared the victor of the Egbert-Strider-Harley-Lalonde truth or dare sleepover. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The night couldn’t get any better.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Dear Karkat</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dave leaves a journal for Karkat.<br/>(Minor spoilers for THe Homestuck Epilogues: Candy)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hey, Karkles.</p><p>Not really sure why I’m writing this, to be honest with you. I mean, Rose said that it’s better to put my shit on paper and address it to you since when I’m writing, my brain works slower to filter shit out and leave the unimportant stuff to the dust, so I guess I’m just going to give it a shot. I don’t remember the last time I held a pen. Maybe middle school?</p><p>I’m super sick of being on this goddamn meteor with you. Well, that’s not the right way to put it. I’m sick of being here with you because I can’t take you to go do the things you always say you want to do in the movies I show you. When we create our universe, I’ll make sure to add a bunch of those things and take you there.</p><p>I’ve always wanted to take you to an amusement park. I think we’ll go there first.</p><p>Wow, even when I’m writing everything on paper, I still fucking stall. I shouldn’t feel so nervous to write it down. It’s not like you’ll ever see this and if you do, it’s not going to be that bad. Sixteen-year-old Dave’s teenage angst ramblings won’t mean much once we’ve created a whole universe. Honestly, I doubt you’d care much even if I told you to your face, which I don’t think I’ll be doing anytime soon, if ever.</p><p>I really like you.</p><p>Like, a lot.</p><p>It’s obvious to everyone else on this meteor but you and I which makes sense, I guess. You’re only reactive to other people’s romantic endeavors and I just spent the last sixteen years of my life convincing myself I was straight. I’ve always been the token straight dude in my group and then you came along. Seriously, some small, angry alien came up to me, forced me to watch some romantic comedies that make no sense, yelled at me a bit, then drew with chalk with me and another small alien and all of a sudden I’m the gayest dude on this fucking space rock.</p><p>This is stupid. </p><p>I wish I could just tell you without worrying about what comes next. In all honesty, I think you feel the same way with me. You don’t really talk to anyone else here as much as you talk to me and I also don’t think you share half as much with them. You and I do genuinely have something special and I like that. I’m just worried of afterwards in case I am wrong and we’re stuck here together bumping into each other awkwardly and avoiding the elephant in the room. It’s not much different than what we’re doing now but it isn’t so awkward. Right now it’s just like… blissful ignorance. I’m for it if it means we get to hang out more. I like you so fucking much.</p><p>I may never say it to you, but I really do.</p><p> </p><p>So, I haven’t picked this thing up in, like, two years? I’m not sure if this is supposed to be a journal of my feelings or a journal of current events but let’s just recap anyways.</p><p>We live in a small apartment with Jade on Earth C now. You and I still hang out regularly which is awesome and Jade’s usually out with someone. She can get it. Gotta give credit where credit is due.</p><p>We don’t do much but honestly, I’m okay with that. It makes our rare adventures more memorable. I did keep my promise, by the way. I took you to that amusement park that me and the others worked on creating when the universe was made. I like it there a lot and because I’ve only ever been there with you, I can’t seem to get myself to go with anyone else. I think that it’s become our place because you don’t go there without me, either. I’m cool with that.</p><p>I’m still crushing hard on you if you couldn’t tell. I’m pretty sure you are for me, too. Ever since we’ve gotten our own place, you always let me sleep on you. I can’t sleep very well in my own room and when you found out why I fall asleep during our movies, you’ve never made another attempt to keep me awake. I really appreciate it. My bro would always sneak into my room or something but whenever I’m with you with the television on, I don’t think about it. You’ve really become my little wall of safety and you recognize that.</p><p>You almost kissed me the other day, too. I cannot believe that I didn’t start off with that. Well, I think it was almost a kiss. We were watching a movie and I said something that made you laugh and I was staring at you. You stopped when I wasn’t responding and then Jade unlocked the front door right when you were leaning in. I was so mad at her for a second there but I know she didn’t know and it wasn’t her fault at all. When you put your hand on my cheek, I swear to god I ascended to another level. </p><p>You always do something when I’m asleep on you. You like to be the one to take off my shades so I always fall asleep with them on just so you can. You like to play with my hair I’ve noticed, too. I think you find it weird how my hair can be so straight when yours is so curly, but I like it that way. I like to play with your hair, too. You rub my back a lot, too. I don’t mind the touch at all. Again, you’re my wall of safety. </p><p>I’ll take whatever I can get since I still can’t kiss you.</p><p> </p><p>John and Roxy are married now?</p><p>That’s an absolutely wild concept to me. My best friend and my technical mom? Whatever, they’re cool and it’s not like it matters here. Wait, does that mean that if they have kids, they’ll technically be my siblings? </p><p>I dunno.</p><p>Uh, anyways…</p><p>You and I are sort of dating now? Like, not really, but sort of. Jade convinced us to get together with her and you and I aren’t super into it but she seems happy and I like seeing her happy. I think that it’ll be totally fine once you and I figure our shit out but for now it’s a little weird. Not because of anything Jade’s doing. She’s great. I’m just not relationship material? Or maybe it’s because it’s my first real relationship. Ugh. I still feel like a fucking teenager. Maybe it’s the whole immortality thing. </p><p>But the polyamory thing. Yeah. I guess that means that you and I are technically dating, too, but we haven’t talked about it and I really don’t want to. It’s weird now.</p><p>Anyways, I probably shouldn’t be writing this right now. You’re sitting right next to me on the couch. The only reason I’m still writing in this stupid notebook is because I’m still fucking traumatized from all the shit we had to go through and Rose insists that this is good for my mental health. It hasn’t done anything for me but I guess I can’t say I’m surprised. I’m not writing in it every day like I should.</p><p>Sometimes it’s just hard to write about something I’ll never have that I want so badly, y’know? I really want you and you’re here but you’re not. Everything’s getting weirder between us and I really don’t want it to. I love you way too fucking much for that shit.</p><p> </p><p>Fucking Egbert.</p><p>It’s not his fault, like it wasn’t Jade’s fault, but god fucking dammit. I was this close. I was SO FUCKING CLOSE.</p><p>I could feel your breath and your hand was on my cheek again and I was so happy for a minute there. I was SO HAPPY. I was going to kiss you. I was ACTUALLY going to kiss you and then I didn’t because Egbert just HAD to sneeze or cough or whatever. I don’t even remember because I’m so fucking pissed.</p><p>I’m not mad at him. I shouldn’t be. I’m mad at myself. And kind of mad at you.</p><p>Why don’t we have the balls to just fucking do it? We know what we want and we should just go for it but we’re both just too chicken. What’s wrong with us?</p><p>Can you just come fucking kiss me already?</p><p> </p><p>So, you ran off today.</p><p>It’s Tavros’ birthday and we all got into this big fight and you were just so sick of it that you stormed out. You even pushed me out of the way and I’ve never felt that kind of force from you. You were shaking. I wanted to help.</p><p>I don’t think you were sick and tired of the tension between us and our friends, though that definitely isn’t helping things. I think you were just tired of the shit happening between us. The drifting apart, the tension, the desire, all of that cliche bullshit. </p><p>Fuck, I’m starting to sound like my sister. Ignore all of that. </p><p>I hope you’ll come home soon, but I somehow doubt you will. Jade and I were going to tell you that we’re engaged. </p><p>I’m trying to move on from you because I know you’re someone I’ll probably never be able to have now. We’re past the point of no return. </p><p> </p><p>I saw you on the news today with Meenah. You’re starting a rebellion? That’s cool, man. It’s very different than sitting on the couch watching movies with me so I’m glad to see that you’re doing something you’re passionate about.</p><p>I should clarify that that isn’t sarcasm. I really am glad you’re doing something worthwhile. I just miss you. Jade does, too. </p><p>What’s so weird is that it’s hard to plan a wedding without you. I wish you’d written some romantic shit down and left it here for us to peek at. It would help with the roadblocks we’re facing trying to plan this shit out. I’m not very into wedding planning and Jade is just happy to be here so we’re both in very different mindsets. We could definitely use some of your harsh and loud judgement. I definitely could. </p><p>I see you found yourself a girl, too. I honestly thought you were gay. You never expressed much interest in girls, but I guess sexuality is a fairly alien concept to you as the lack of one is to me. Did you know that you’re only the second dude I’ve been in love with? The first being Egbert, of course, but you already knew that.</p><p>You know, looking back, I kind of miss being on the meteor with you. We’re adults now and on one hand, that’s cool to our younger selves but… we were kind of adults back then, too. We didn’t have anyone watching over our every move. We were alone. We could do whatever we wanted and now… I miss being able to do whatever with you. Staying up late, watching shitty movies, etc.</p><p>I especially miss sleeping on you. That’s a weird thing to miss, but I sleep with Jade now and it’s not the same. I feel safe but… it isn’t the same kind of safety? I don’t even fucking know.</p><p>I should stop writing. It’s bringing up shit in me that I really don’t need to fucking bring up. I just…</p><p>I really miss you, Karkat. I wish you’d come home.</p><p> </p><p>I got married today and you weren’t there. I invited you but I’m not really surprised you didn’t come. Why should you? You’re running a fucking revolution and showing up to my wedding would reveal your whereabouts. I’m not surprised and I’m not mad. I get it.</p><p>I was talking to John and he was asking about how I still felt about you. It was so hard to deflect and you know how easily I deflect. I got away with it but he seemed like he was the one hiding something.</p><p>Were you there?</p><p>Did you actually come and I didn’t notice?</p><p>I dunno. I wish I could’ve seen you. I want to catch up like we used to.</p><p> </p><p>I’m on a mission with Jade right now. I sent her off while I went to explore this building. Looks like the White House but that description doesn’t mean much to you except for the white part. I’m going alone since it’ll just be a quick investigation. </p><p>Jade and I have joined your revolution and you’ve been sending us on various missions, but they all seem so simple. I think you’re trying to protect us even though we’re gods and we won’t be dying a heroic or justified death while running minor errands. Your concern is appreciated, though.</p><p>I’m standing outside this building scribbling away and for what? </p><p>Everything kind of reminds me of you now. I guess with this being some political building it reminds me of your presidential campaign. You would’ve done so good, dude. Seriously. And now we’re here, rarely speaking, I’m married, you’ve got a girl… This is all just so surreal. I want to be back on the meteor.</p><p>I want to be back on the meteor with you.</p><p> </p><p>Dear Karkat,</p><p>I won’t be coming home. </p><p>I miss you.</p><p>I love you.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>